Strange energy

I feel detached, unreal. Time seems to be like water and I'm floating on it, I'm going with the flow but not really feeling it... I think it's partly because the teacher training is coming to an end and I'm living in self denial about it. I'm going to miss these people - not to really say that I've been making close friends, but the energy and the feeling of community is unlike anything I've experienced before.

I've been talking to lots of people and everyone is feeling it - this last "trimester", as Jada calls it, has been full of grand emotions. I guess it started the first day when we were going through the circle sharing experiences about yoga when Robert, dearheart, started crying because he was feeling so vulnerable - and that set the standard for everyone else, it's ok to feel these emotions, it's ok to cry. I was of course crying on Wednesday because of my mother - but that was like a waterfall and so many other people cried with me... they came to me later on crying telling about how they have lost a parent and how seeing me going through the similar thing was just bringing it all back. I don't think you ever get over that, no matter how long you live. Yesterday Jenn was crying because it was her last day and she was going through changes in her life, and we just allow that let her know we're here for her.

Connie comes to hug me every day. Her mother had breast cancer which was difficult for her because her mother was in China back then, so she knows what I'm going through... being far away when big things happen to loved ones just eats one alive. Trevor, my practicing parter, the reserved man with a beautiful practice, he comes to hug me too, expressing emotions not many men do... it all makes a big difference.

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