Market forces

It's easy to take for granted that which is given freely, when you have to work so hard for success in other areas.

As said by a friend in an IM conversation the other day. I've often wondered why many successful men neglect their families and stay in the office all night long - this was actually a very useful insight into the issue. It's not necessarily because they don't appreciate their families - it's because they are using the same standard to evaluate the success both at work and at home. And work take as much as you give it, and these kinds of men achieve success with that "more the better" attitude. Whereas families - it's either that they don't demand, or that they don't offer the same kind of "payout" than work does... result is that the man spends more time at work, just because the "payout" (or "penalties") are higher. It not about lack of love - quite the contrary, the initial reason for the heavy workload is often financial need to support the family, or the urge to provide in the best possible financial care.

And meanwhile the wife would often be satisfied with less money and more time together, or even some shared responsibility. For many women the emotional support is more important but financial needs are the more tangible ones, the ones that demand more attention. Result is sad and yet avoidable if only the couple would communicate more.

(And before anyone gets their knickers in a twist - whilst I'm writing about working men and their families at home, there's no reason the roles couldn't be reversed. I've just never come across those families - still I'm sure that they too exist.)

Posted by kolibri at 23 September 15:35, 2005

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