R&R

When I was coming up from a downdog on my second sun salutation yesterday, I heard a funny crunching sound from my left wrist - that's the good wrist. My joints click and crack all the time, but not like this. There was also pain - but not sharp pain, like something broke, and I couldn't feel anything after I got up. But doing the jump-back didn't feel good, but then again chatarunga was ok, and so was down-dog - but coming up hurt a lot. Rest of the practice I couldn't consentrate properly because I kept feeling it and wondering if I had hurt it badly.

And of course this was the class that was full of advanced students who wanted to do nothing but handstands - damn, I can't do that even with one bad wrist, let alone two. Jason saw the expression on my face, so he suggested we started with headstands - and that I can do. In fact, the headstands have become my current favourites - tripod, and the regular, I just love them. And when it came to handstands, I practiced Pincha Mayurasana and I think at that point I overcame the doubt in me, and found the peace inside myself again.

Sometimes I think for a while that I must be crazy thinking about the teacher training while suffering from such injuries as I am. It only lasts for a moment, and then I'm confident again that I am doing the right thing and that I can do it. In fact I believe that in some ways I might be able to teach more about yoga by example than someone who has never suffered any setbacks and can do three series of ahstanga. In fact, I've done a mental course change in that I'm not looking religiously for teachers to give me modifications for poses I can't do, but I've started thinking for myself what kind of asanas I can do that will give me a similar benefit to the original pose.

But I'm not taking any changes, and today I'm giving my body a rest. Believe me Julie, I know your pain. Sometimes the lesson is not about physical asanas, it's about "mental asanas" - in this case patience.