Million and one

Weird day.

Started up with a nightmare where I was paralyzed - took me almost half an hour to wake up properly and shake the feeling, most unpleasant. Then spent a peaceful morning with Dragon who was up early as he complains that lately I've been very restless in my sleep and wakes up when I'm kicking him. He was also home longer today because he was catching a later plane to San Fransico where he's spending the rest of the week. When he was leaving I went back to bed to catch up sleep I missed - but woke up later with the same nightmare. Different scenario, but again I was paralyzed and half blind. Dragon suggested I should start writing my dreams down again which I then did.

Weather wasn't the best but I needed to get out so I took a walk over the Granville Bridge to go to Teaz - picked up some rooibos teas. While out I also noticed that after all I seem to be suffering from some side effects of decreasing the Paxil dosage - I'm lightheaded and slightly dizzy at times. I'm still emotional, maybe it's withdrawal, maybe the nightmare, maybe being alone... and I miss Dragon terribly. I can now understand why so many Americans use antidepressants like vitamins - the temptation to just make your life uncomplicated with a little red pill is definetly there.

And I have million thoughts going through my head at the speed of light. While I was meditating (or trying to) a theory came to be about what's going on in my life, but I need some time to figure out what it all means. Seems that once again some good advice I've given to Chu I should also apply to myself. Why is it easier to give advice than implement it?

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