Hunting

For some reason I've felt very tired today - went to Granville Island to buy some tea and food, only to find out that I had left my debit card at home. So didn't splash out then, I only had $15 on my person. Day was gray and after getting home and eating last of my bean tomato soup I just fell asleep on the sofa. After waking up I decided I was too spaced out to go to yoga, I would look for a job, meditate and do some yoga at home.

Then I almost got excited about the job hunt. Applied for some jobs I actually think I have a chance of getting, at least in theory - but then again if the past is anything to be learned from I know what's going to happen. I've started to think that the job adverts that I see are actually just a tiny minority of jobs out there, that the real job market is controlled by networking or certain agents or something like that. Seems almost like an impossible task.

I've been listening to my teacher Brian Ruhe's meditation CD, and it is facinating. This is not my first contact with Buddhism - in fact I first got excited about it when I was still at school and my class (elämänkatsomustieto - I don't even start guessing what that would be in English) went to visit the Buddhist center in Helsinki. That really affected me, and I would have wanted to go back there again and maybe start learning about meditation - but my friends pretty much talked me out of it. They thought that I was just about to join into some weird religious group - and I never thought of it as an religion in the first place. I guess I was lucky to have friends that cared about me enough to take a stance - and I forgot about the whole thing pretty quickly.