Sunday 6 March, 2005

Sunday night musings

Feeling a bit blue today.

I miss my friends, and I can't wait for another three weeks for Chu to get here. I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling like this now, and I'm thinking it's probably because I'm again fazed by the idea of trying to look for a job. I'm slowly coming around to the fact that I actually do want a new job, compared to the old "I'm quite happy the way I am right now". I do feel that I have something to contribute and that I would be a good investment for any company... Just need to find the company that feels the same way.

It's not made easier by a thread I read the other day in Discover Vancouver Forum that said that Canadian employers are basically rasist and prefer Canadians over Europeans or other nationalities. Granted, I need to take this with a pinch of salt, like everything you read on this forum, or any other forum on the internet really... And then Laura said on Thursday that she thought Vancouver would be a difficult city to find a job in, and she's not the only person I've heard saying something similar. The seeds have been sown and it's all just adding to my self doubt.

It's one thing being rejected when you don't really want a job - but being rejected when you're begging for it... I feel I'm letting Dragon down, I'm letting everyone down who thinks I'm smart and professional... I don't really believe it, but still what if it turns out they are all wrong, and I've just been bluffing my way so far, that I don't really have any skills or redeeming qualities...

Hoping tomorrow will be better.

Posted by kolibri at 6 March 17:33, 2005
Comments
# 1 - Hanna (on March 7, 2005 12:10 PM):

"what if it turns out they are all wrong, and I've just been bluffing my way so far, that I don't really have any skills or redeeming qualities..."

Oh no! Typical perspective of a woman. A man with the exact same qualifications as you would find fault in anything but himself. There is _nothing_ wrong with you so don't go digging there and waste your time on that. Please.

Terveisin nimimerkki "Been there, done that, didn't do me any good" ;)


# 2 - kolibri [TypeKey Profile Page] (on March 7, 2005 06:23 PM):

Typical female thing? I don't know about that, I've only been a woman so far :)


# 3 - Henri (on March 8, 2005 01:06 AM):

I fail to see how having difficulty finding a job in a city where it is notoriously hard to find a job could be seen as YOU letting down anyone.

Keep your head up and keep at it.


# 4 - kolibri [TypeKey Profile Page] (on March 8, 2005 10:31 PM):

You're right, of course.

I just feel stupid for thinking that it was easy. For letting everyone else think that it's easy.


# 5 - Sanjay Khanna (on March 9, 2005 10:49 PM):

You'll do great here! Sometimes it does take time in Vancouver; I have friend from Toronto who was highly qualified and it took her a while (she's Canadian, but maybe people in Vancouver didn't appreciate that she was from our rival city). Regardless, I hope that you are greeted by serendipity and that things unfold in a positive way. Best wishes....


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