Rain, rain

Rain, rain go away, please come back some other day (preferably during the next four days when we're not in the country). Here's today's list:

• Rainy days: 1
• Good movies watched: 2 (Fantastic The Warrior and funny Welcome to Colinwood)
• Cups of tea: numerous
• Trips to recycling point downstairs: 1
• Found and adopted pieces of useful and funtional furniture: 2
• Shopping trips outside: 1
• "I can't believe we're going to Wrestlemania!" said about 1000 times
• Hasty booking of a rental car: 1
• Bags packed: 0 (oh well, time tomorrow morning)

Today: sofa, tomorrow: Hollywwood.

Stanley Park

Today weather was beautiful despite the weatherman's warnings, and because our apartments gets so hot in the mornings when the weather is like this we woke up really early (around eight - a lot for us!). So we decided that today we wanted to walk the seawalk around Stanley Park, about a 10 km walk. We set out before ten, and walked to Denman and started our way from Coal Harbour.

I took some photos, but... You know what, none of the photos I've ever taken of Vancouver really do justice for it. I've thought about doing a panorama gallery of some of the panoramas I've taken, at least they show some kind of context. For example when walking today on the seawalk... when you have about 180 degrees or more of open space with you all the time it's impossible to capture the feeling with just the few degrees one photo gives you.

The walk was excellent - we stopped several times, to watch totem poles and birds (I finally managed to see a harlequin duck, one the birds I've always wanted to see!), we espcially liked the buffleheads and the goldeneyes that were diving in and out for fish. We had hotdogs at 3rd beach cafe and relaxed while watching people on the beach. We got back after around five hours of lazy walking - guide book says that you should be able to do it in two if you're walking briskly - but then again brisk walk was never what we intended to do.

Next time I'd like to take some of the tracks inside the park, I'd especialy like to see the hummingbird trail.

Tea, tea, tea

This morning it was once again raining heavily, but after we called the nature's bluff and decided to go out anyway, showered and prepared everything, the rain had stopped. We walked down the Sunset Beach to Granville Island ferry, and spent a lovely afternoon mainly sitting at Granville Island Tea company chatting with the owners Mark and Debbie (who is in the photo between us) and other customers.

It's not that often that you get the change to talk about tea about people who are even more passionate about tea than you. We drank tea by the cups - I tried a wonderful organic oolong and a second flush Darjeeling, Chu tried a scented black tea and a rooibos. I think I was lucky to escape with only two bags of tea, Chu bought six and we promised to be back next week. It was so nice - we got some special treatment for being Finns (all Canadians seem to have some Finn-stories to tell when they hear our nationality), and we discussed hockey (of course) and saunas and aeroplanes with Mark and couple of other customers sitting on the table. Very nice, and the sun even got out by the time we left.

I love Granville Island, the tea, the food, the fruits, the people, the athmosphere, everything.

Showing off Vancouver

Weather still isn't showing much improvement, but as long as it's not raining heavily we are determined to get out.

Today we took a long walk to the city centre, looking at the shops (Lululemon, Virgin, Golden Age, and lots and lots of shoes) and just generally loitering. Chu found a lot of CDs from Virgin and I finally found Crabtree and Evelyn, my favourite kitch shop to buy some fantastic cosmetics. They do better hand cream and hand wash than anyone, doesn't dry my skin to a crisp.

Evening was spent watching wrestling and getting ready for the trip to Los Angeles this weekend. And so that we wouldn't run out of things to do we booked tickets to see Cats when it comes to Vancouver next week.

Things still to see: Stanley Park, Granville Island, Kitsilano, Grouse Mountain. It's a good thing I've got good walking shoes.

Happy Easter

R.I.P. Pieni

I received the bad news today that my tortoise Pieni, a beloved pet for 12 years has passed away. I cried a bit - there was nothing Mikki could have done more for the little creature, and I don't think he could have done anything to prevent this.

Just highlights the fact that people really shouldn't take pets they know nothing about - we always did our best to take care of it, but many things about the diet for example wasn't even known when we got it. With our current knowledge we wouldn't get a pet like it - but it's just one of those things, live and learn.

I will miss the little critter. My mother has promised that we can bury it on their yard in Jollas.

Fantastic

Might be doing a little less updates for the next two weeks or so, as Chu is now here and I have what some people call "a life".

Today has been a fantastic day - we started out by going to yin yoga with Dragon who I was able to convince would enjoy it. I was right, and I'm hoping he'll come again. Then we were quickly off to the airport to meet Chu - although her plane had arrived by the time we got there we ended up waiting over an hour for her to come out. Must have been that flight from Seoul that arrived just before her's and the airport was full of Koreans.

We took a limo from the airport back home, and now we've been spending the day trying to keep Chu awake until the evening (success!), went to drink some matcha which must have helped, and ate sushi.

Tired now. Both of us. Dragon is still playing his new RPG on PS2.

Busy

Sometimes I wonder how it's possible to be so busy when you don't have "a real job". Today I've been on my feet the whole day - first cleaning up the apartment including the toilets and the bathroom ready for Chu to come tomorrow. Amazing how long it can take - I'm happy that I did it though, there's much less clutter around now, something I've wanted to do for a long time. You know how papers and mail congregate into piles - you mean to do something about it but the pile just keeps growing... That's all now neatly put away.

Then I had promised to go to have a cup of tea with Anne, Dragon's friend's girlfried, who is working in a company I had sent my CV to last week. Unfortunately she had told me they had filled up the QA places they had been advertising - but when we went to have a chat with the recuitment manager who said that they were going to look for some new people within the next couple of week. Their QA manager was in Toronto, but he promised me that once he would get back we could have a more formal chat... This is the best lead I've had so far.

In couple of minutes it's off to yoga - I've already sat down for a half an hour or so, so that should be enough rest for now. When I get back Dragon should be back too from his journeys... Yay! I've missed him.

Egg hunt

Another beautiful day before the promised weekend rain, so what better to do than go egg hunting (but not before telling a lot of really bad egg jokes to Henri - it's much funnier in Finnish). I've had to find some nice chocolate eggs for the easter - it's in my family's tradition and I want to keep it up. Easter is not at all in-your-face here, like it is in Europe - there is a pathetically small easter section at Safeway, but it has mostly Cadbury's cream eggs and I'm not a big fan of those.

So I headed for Robson - it has four different chocolate boutiques that have been advertising for easter things, so I wanted to check them out. Selection is not good. Only one place that had egg sized eggs (instead of those tiny mini eggs) was Godiva - and that photo should say more than a thousand words to a serious chocoholic. I'm not going to show you what's inside - easter eggs are like Christmas presents, they are to be kept seceret until the right moment comes.

I have a feeling though that the easter bunny might lay her eggs in to the fridge this time - our apartment becomes very hot in the morning when the morning sun shines in... I may not want to hide the eggs as they might turn into little chocolate puddles... Much more fun to eat them solid.

Out walking

Continuing on the theme of self improvement, I have managed to do quite a bit today.

I decided that since I was still a bit sore I wouldn't go to yoga at all, instead I went for a long yoga-motivated walk. I walked to Burrard and went over the Burrard brige to 3rd Avenue where Halfmoon is based, and got myself a new yoga mat and a bag. The mat is twice as thick as my old mat which should make some of the sitting postures more comfortable, and it's rasberry red. The new bag I needed to replace my old big bag - I used to have this very handy big yoga back from Yogamatters I've been using for years, but some weeks ago I decided to give it a wash. As a result the bag shrank and doesn't fit two bags comfortably anymore. The new bag is better anyway, I can wear it on my back which makes it nicer to carry.

Weather was just perfect for a long walk - in Kitsilano the temperature showed 22 C although that was probably just in the sun. I stood for a long time on the Burrard brige looking at loons diving for fish and cormorants basking in the sun.

I added some of the photos I took to the West End gallery - the photo on the right is actually the 2000th photo I've taken with my camera. So far I've been very happy with the little Ixus 500 - I've only got two issues with it. Firstly, the display is a tad on the small side - I'd really prefer a bigger one as it's not always obvious from the display if photo is blurry or not. Secondly, there is no proper battery warning - it gives a little blinking red battery when the battery is practically run out and you've got maybe five photos left. That's the reason I always carry a spare battery with me, you never know when it's going to run out. Otherwise, very nice little camera: good photos in many different conditions, although more difficult conditions will need you to adjust some settings yourself. The flash is pretty much useless but that's what you can expect from a pocket camera like this - often if I can't take photos without flash I don't take them at all.

In the evening I went back to my optometrist to check my contact lenses after a week of use. They look fine, the fit is "perfect" and there are no protein deposits on the eye, so I'm good to go. I ordered six months supply, but I've still got three weeks left with these lenses I'm now wearing. I've been very happy with the lenses so far, and after getting used to feeling naughty when I go to bed with them, I've pretty much forgotten about them rest of the time - which means of course that it's as perfect as it gets.

When I walked home in the dark the strong smell of flowers lingered everywhere - almost like in the tropics. Only the temperatures are not tropical, it still gets very cold and close to zero during the night.

Life alone

Dragon is a voice on the other end of the phone, and I'm alone once again.

After the weekend's workshop I feel... well, I wouldn't say that I've gotten a new lease of life, but I certainly feel more determined. Something that Paul said about being in charge of your spiritual part (which I interpret to mean my mental capacity) that made me realise that a lot of what I feel I can't control in my life is just in my head. Like job hunting - today I made advances again instead of being apathetic (which seems to come to me very naturally). So far so bad - my two promising leads seems to have come to nothing: the agent that contacted me last week hasn't contacted me again and isn't returning my calls, and Anne tells me all their QA jobs are now taken. Still, what can I do but to press on.

So I've been doing laundry, cleaning, cooking... you know, the things housewifes do. Yoga was good - Jason was teaching and I learned that apparently other people feel Warrior I in their hamstrings and groins, whereas I feel it mostly in my calf. Jason was still musing on what Paul said on Saturday about my hips, and jokingly promised not to use the f-word. I don't mind, I just think it's funny. Jason is such a funny teacher - he brings humour into the practice which I find really refreshing, and sometimes it's the only way to get people to relax in middle of difficult asanas.

I find though that eight hours sitting on the floor over the weekend has left it's mark on me. I find it really annoying that even though I thought I would be ok with it, apparently all those years sitting on chairs has indeed left it's mark on me and I'm very stiff on my hips now. I'd like very much to get one of those Halfmoon's wonderful bolsters so I could sit more on the floor at home too. Today's practice helped a bit, but I might not want to do yin tomorrow to let my hips rest a bit, and opt for flow instead.

The photo is of a magnolia tree - flowers are everywhere now.

Paul Grilley workshop

I'm almost lost for words to describe the weekend I've had. The Paul Grilley workshop has been truly amazing, eye opening experience, and will no doubt change my yoga practice forever. It's difficult to even start to describe what I've learned, but I'll put down some of the main points.

On Saturday Paul talked about bones and skeletal differences between people. He stated that all movement was limited by muscle and joint tension and bone compression. The first is greatly emphasized in any yoga, but the latter is never discussed. This often leads to a misconception that all asanas are achievable as long as the student puts in enough practice, and that the asanas will always be beneficial - and Paul says (and I most definetly believe him) that both of the claims are false. He demonstrated to us, using real bones, how different people can have such an amazingly different ranges of possible movement just because of their bones. He demonstrated physically, using different people as examples, how some people will never be able to put their ankles around their heads.

This is the most liberating thing I've experienced with yoga. The thought that I'm an individual and that my yoga will be different to everyone else's yoga. For me - maybe because I know relatively little of anatomy - this all made perfect sense, but I was surprised how many people (mostly yoga teachers) had serious problems with the concept. There were so many different "but surely this..." and "what if..." that at some point Paul had to stop answering questions and had to press on with the lecture. In a way I understand that it's not easy to realise that you might not be able to do all those asanas you've been dreaming about because of hard physical limitations - but for me it kind of came as a relief. So ok, there's a limit somewhere out there, but with most postures I'm not even close - and even when I do hit my compression point, it doesn't mean that I'm "done with" the posture as it's still prefectly possible - and likely - that I will get benefit out of it.

Today Paul talked about the meridian theory and chakras. While I found the meridian theory and especially the scientific research behind it most interesting, I was a bit more skeptical about the chakras. We did breathing exercises which I found most interesting: how mentally thinking so - ham when breathing in and out is completely different to ham - sa, and how different people felt it differently. For me so - ham was clearly an invigorating and pleasant experience while ham - sa was almost unpleasant in how it restricted the breath.

This workshop was totally worth every single penny I put into it. Some parts made me see my practice in a completely different light, and some parts gave me lot of food for thought. I'd love to do at some point Paul's full 60 hour lecture series which would go into much more detail than this eight hours did.

Of Dragons and Devils

Once again, I am off to good 'ol USA tomorrow. Seems like every time I snatch a moment to write something in this blog I'm about to take off.

To be honest, I would have had the time to write something during last few days if it was not for Devil May Cry 3, a new game from Capcom. If there ever was a game that captures the essence of the Hong Kong movies style of fighting, this is it.

Devil May Cry 2 was a huge disappointment after the classic original DMC. Fortunately, DMC 3 improves in every level: it is one of the best looking, most playable and insanely intense action games of all the time. Sufficient to say that I am not a big fan of the genre, and yet I love DMC 3.

The concept of the game is simple: You are Dante, a half-demon. half-human Devil Hunter. With your array of weapons (from magical swords and gauntlets to pair of hand guns and rocket launcher) you take on a army of demons with a mission to take over the world of humans. Nothing new there of course, but the sheer style, feeling of power and the inherent coolness of Dante is what makes this one stand out from the crowd.

Quite simply, you'll never feel as much like a true supernaturally gifted warrior like you do when you play DMC 3. You wield your shotgun like a nunchaku, jump on top of your enemies and shoot all arounf while standing on the spine of your hapless enemy. You jump in the air and hover there simply by shooting down at your enemies from above. It is truly hours of fun. Take my word for it.

When I grow up I want to be Dante!

Things learned today...

I learned today that my hips are extremely inwardly rotated. I think the word Paul used was "freakish", as in his 25 years of teaching he's seen maybe ten people like me. The other thing I learned was that it's not a good or a bad thing, it just is. Truly eye opening, the workshop today.

More later, now off to play some games with friends.

Practice with Paul Grilley

"When you some day realise that your left side is different from your right side, here's the mantra to use:

I am the only one.
I am insufficient in some way.
There is something wrong with me.
Om shanti.

Repeat until all self confidence is gone."

-- Paul Grilley with a twinkle in his eye

First day of the Paul Grilley workshop was today at Flow Yoga. There were maybe thirty people in the room, mostly yoga teachers, and everyone was at their best behaviour. It's funny - usually we all have the bolsters and different blocks and blankets, but when the guru is there no one wants to take them! One of the first things Paul said was: "Don't be a hero. If a pose feels wrong, come out of it immediately." Still, at least in the beginning there was a lot of posing I think - if it went away later I don't know, as I was concentrating on my own practice 100%.

Paul was very funny - as you can see from the quote he has a black sense of humour that came as a total surprise to some people, I think. There's a tendency to think that gurus are in some way "holy" - but personally I would find that kind of a guru difficult to approach, for me humbleness is a much bigger sign of greatness. Paul doesn't come across as arrogant and also doesn't take himself too seriously. At times it almost seemed that he didn't take practice seriously either - but that was just a sign of his humbleness I think. For example a lady asked if a certain asana should be done this way or the other, and Paul replied that it could be done either way, that it didn't matter, although it mattered a lot. Meaning - it mattered for an individual how an asana was done, you had to do it right for your anatomy, but it didn't matter which way it was as long as you did it right for you. (He said it so that it made more sense, hope you get my meaning.)

After the practice I went to talk to him to show him my wrist. Doctor had told me last year that I had a ganglion in my wrist due to my flexible joints - that the joint flexibility had caused an empty space between bones to be filled with fluid that had then solified into the ganglion that is restricting my movement. The doctor didn't recommend surgery as there was a high chance I wouldn't recover mobility I had, and high chance too that the ganglion would just grow back. I had then decided to not to opt for surgery and "just live with it" - but since starting yin yoga I have started to think about joints in a totally different way and I wanted a second opinion from Paul.

Paul felt my wrist, and felt my other wrist, and his diagnosis was that it wasn't a problem with joints at all, it was a problem with my bones! On my right wrist, the problematic one, there is quite clearly - now that he's shown it to me that is - a sharp bone end that doesn't exist in my left wrist at all. How Paul explained it was that the sharp bone was the problem that was causing irritation and therefore the ganglion. It makes so much more sense that way - I've had this problem as long as I can remember. Unfortunately the bad news is that as it's bone there's nothing I can do about it - I had hoped he would have had some exercise that would have helped when I believed it was a joint-issue... He still said that exercising the wrist would probably make it slightly better but the bone meant that there was a physical limitation there that I couldn't change. He surprisingly also said that surgery would be a good option - he doesn't believe that recovery rate is as bad as the doctor told me: in his opinion joint mobility can be rehabilitated without any problems.

In a way, it's almost a relief - lately I've been hoping and believing that I should be able to do something about my wrist, that maybe if I just tried hard enough... but know it feels like the decision has been taken off my shoulders. It's a physical limitation I have, and that's the end of the story. I should really belive what Paul and Jason and Kelly teach - that everyone has poses they just can't do, mine are just the ones that require putting weight on wrists.

Very interesting to hear more tomorrow on the anatomy lecture.

Advancing

As we went out with Chris and Anne last night, I took a different yoga class instead of my normal double class. This is the first time I've tried Flow Yoga's advanced classes - just by coincidence, really, as normally I take the easier classes because they are at more suitable time. So here was I thinking that advanced probably just meant that we would do more demanding poses from the primary series - turns out that the class included poses from the second and third series as well. These are poses I've sometimes seen photos of and thought "how the hell are you supposed to get into that?", and now I know. The theory anyway.

It was an interesting class though, and I like to try out new things so I enjoyed trying to get into the new poses. What annoys me though is that more "advanced" ashtanga gets, the more there seem to be poses that require balancing on the hands. I'd love to try those poses, and sometimes do - but I'm always stopped by my wrist, my stupid disability which means I can't put any weight directly on my hands. I have picked the worst possible style of yoga for my body - I think there are 72 asanas in primary series, and 75 vinyasas... and each vinyasa contains a chatarunga or two (which is basically a push-up). But I'm stubborn and I've learned a way to do those without injuring myself though, and I've recently even started doing jump-backs which I totally love.

On today's primary series class Jason said - after taking the micky out of me by saying "oh, it's kolibri, what a surprise" because I'm there every day - that we should concentrate on bandhas today. So that's what I did - and my balancing poses were better than they have been in months. Just shows how important it is - each time I started wobbling, I just sucked the tummy in and squeezed the bandhas - and voila! Little thing, but felt like a big thing.

Another big thing was when I realised that I could actually bind in Marichyasana B - just imagine that couple of weeks ago I couldn't even sit up while having the other foot in lotus. I give all the credit for this for my yin practice.

Tomorrow - the Paul Grilley workshop begins, starting with a practice with the guruji. Really looking forward to it.

Thoughts about eye

Yesterday it hit home that I'm not in England anymore.

Sounds weird, considering that we've been here for six months now - but in some ways I've still been relying on my roots back in Old Blighty... I recently saw the bottom of my stock of contact lenses - when I left I bought spare lenses for quite a few months so I wouldn't immediately have to go buy some more.

So on Monday I booked an appointment with my closest optometrist - Urban Eyes on Davie - and saw Dr. Parmar yesterday. She was young and pretty, and very efficient and friendly. I'm now trying out trying out the new Night & Day 30-day lenses that you can wear, well night and day for 30 days - I 'm trying them out for a week and then go back for a check-up. Chu had tried these kind of lenses before and had been happy, so I wanted to give them a go too. My eyes were healthy and bright, but in both eyes the sight had worsened, on left eye even quite considerably. Damn - I had gotten quite used to no change happening, my eyesight has been pretty much the same for years. Maybe someday when I've gathered enough courage I'll go for a laser surgery.

I've been wearing the lenses for about 17 hours now, and they feel good. It is slightly weird - and I felt naughty - going to bed with them, and I woke up several times thinking that something was wrong. My sight without lenses or glasses is very poor, and I'm used to the night time being black and blurry - but now I could see quite clearly, and it wasn't as nearly as black as it used to be. In the morning the eyes felt ok, a bit dry but after couple of rigorous blinks it was ok. If they really work like this, I'll be more than happy to swap my daily disposables for these.

Well well well

I had a serious talk with Dragon about my job situation over the weekend, and then another frank discussion with Henri this morning (well, he was frank and I was meek).

And then, out of the blue - an agent calls me about my resume I left with Monster.ca yesterday. We talked about my work experience and Vancouver, and he told me about a financial company that was going to start recruiting in the near future and the kind of work they were offering.

If all goes well, I'm going to have an interview, possibly even this week. I still don't know quite what to think. It all just seems... unreal.

Trekkie Nerd

I don't usually do net tests - or more precicely I don't usually publish them - but this was just too juicy.

Trekkie Nerd Survey Says...

Congratulations - your designation as a Trekkie Nerd means that you are statistically more likely to be a virgin, socially inept, live at home in your mother's basement and have no chance of scoring a chick like Seven. Still, if knowledge of temporal paradoxes, the repercussions of the Janeway effect and an intimate knowledge of Klingon history made big bucks, you'd be a millionaire. Ah, tis the sweet irony of life.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Trekkies

Link: The Trekkie Test written by MadameBoffin on Ok Cupid

Eh - so watching Star Trek every day (incidentially, I might add, honestly), owning DVDs and memorobilia (and a uniform) and knowing the answer to pretty much all the not too difficult questions they had makes me a nerd? Tsk.

Via Juha.

I died and went to heaven

I fell in love with a toy boy and broke Dragon's heart.

Well, that's what it sounds like, based on our order in Death by Chocolate. My dessert was a Latin Lover and Dragon chose a Broken Heart.

And.. oh... my... goddess. I literally couldn't stop smiling and giggling, this dessert was a buzz like nothing else. Chocolate cake, chocolate sauce, some cappuchino flavours here and there... This dessert was an edible orgasm, pure pleasure. Like I've seen the light and found god... well, you get the idea.

It's possible that part of it was that I've been on low fat diet for the past couple of days, but that was a superb experience.

Another new experience was when we played a new card game we picked up yesterday while shopping with Clay, Saint Petersburg. I won, twice. First time I won because Dragon hadn't read the rules properly, but the second time I won, just by playing by the rules. It's amazing, I never ever win at games when I'm playing against Dragon. If the game is not purely luck-based, he can pretty much win any game he wants to... And he likes to win.

Now, off to play a third game.

Sweet gingered prawn rolls

In case you were wandering what I did with the rice paper, the answer is in this recipe. Funny thing about the rice paper though - I visited several Asian food stores, mainly Korean and Japanese, and when I asked for rice paper they giggled and shook their heads. So does it mean that I'm an ignorant foreigner if rice paper is only used in Chinese and Thai cooking and I should have automatically realised that I won't find it in Korean or Japanese store? In any case, Capers had some so I found what I was looking for without having to go too far.

Rice paper is nice material, it's often used in spring rolls and deep fried, but you can just as well just roll it and eat as-is. But anyway, here's what you need:

~ 1 kg uncooked prawns
100 g grated fresh ginger
as many cloves of garlic as you want, crushed
2 tablespoons of finely grated lime rind
big splash of something sweet - I used rice syrup but honey would work
~ 80 ml sweet chili sauce
~ 80 ml chicken stock
rice paper
baby spinach leaves
fresh coriander

Shell and devain prawns, and chop them roughly. Combine prawns, ginger, garlic and your sweet stuff in a large shallow bowl, and refrigerate at least three hours, or until you need them.

Heat oiled pan, and cook the prawns until they're just right - remember, cooking prawns too long will make them rubbery. Take them off the pan while keeping all the liquid they might have left behind in the pan. Place the chili sauce and the chicken stock to the pan, and let simmer until it thickens. Pour over the prawns.

Take one sheet of rice paper and put it in a large bowl of warm water until it's soft. Take the paper out from water and place on a board, pat dry with a towel or paper. Place some baby spinach and coriander leaves in the middle of the paper, add prawn mixture to the top. Fold in top and bottom, roll from side to enclose the filling. Repeat until all prawn mixture is used - I made about 17 rolls (but it's of course dependant on the size of the rice paper).

Once you let the rolls sit for couple of minutes they should be firm enough to eat with your fingers, serve with rice or dip in soy sauce.

All good things...

While we're on the nostalgic subject of TNG, I have to confess that I skipped to yoga class this morning so I could watch All Good Things... I think the episode is quite good finish to the series, and I especially love the last scene where captain Picard finally comes to the poker table. I remember how I used to love the whole Worf-Troi relationship that was going on on the seventh season, and I was always disappointed that nothing came out of it (although I guess she would have been all wrong for Worf in the long run).

Meanwhile in the real world, I've started a new diet - so I'm doing a lot more cooking trying to make it easier. The reason for this diet is quite embarrasing, but I'm going to share it with you anyway, in the hopes that while the truth is out I can't back out. The thing is, my trousers have shrunk since I moved to Canada. At first I put it down to sometimes using a tumble drier that can sometimes shrink clothes. Then last week I was putting on trousers that I don't often use and that haven't been yet washed here, and then my favourite jeans and they were uncomfortably tight too... And then it hit me. It's not so much that all my trousers have mysteriously shrank at the same time, but my butt has gotten bigger.

Then it all clicked - how recently I've started wearing yoga pants at home as they are "more comfortable", and how I've started to dislike looking at the mirror... This must be another thing that happens when - I was going to say "get older" - but the truth probably just is that I've been eating a lot more unhealthy food. When I'm not feeling too happy, it's easy to cheer oneself up by eating something nice, by picking up couple of slices of pizza and a doughnut. In England we never ate any cakes or doghnuts or cookies - crisps were my downfall but even then that was maybe once a week.

So now, Dragon the fitness guru has prepared a diet for me that sounds all very sensible. You know, eat healthy, drink lot of water and so on... of course it's bit more complicated than that but I'll let him explain it in case someone is interested. He's saying that if I stick to my diet I should be able to drop five kilos or so in a month or two which would get me back to my pants. I've already promised myself some pretty underwear once that's happened.

But one of the things about Dragon's diets is that you're allowed to have one "candy day" a week when you can pig out all you want. I've already insisted that this weekend Dragon should take me to Death by Chocolate on Denman, a designer chocolate dessert restaurant. I'll tell you then how it turns out.

In case you're wondering, that photo is of the frienly cat that lives somewhere on Cardero who loves to meet people. I met her today when I was on my way to buy rice paper to wrap my sweet chili prawns into.

Now showing

Another sunny day, another good day - it's almost scary how they seem to correlate one on one. It was t-shirt weather again, and I had planned on taking a nice walk to Capers and getting all my groceries from there - but Mikki skyped me so I ended up talking to him instead. And since I had to be home by twelve I just did a quick shop at Safeways.

Why did I have to be home by twelve, I hear you ask (honestly). Well, looks like the Buffy-fly has finally bitten me. I've always found Buffy the Vampire Slayer annoying and pretentious, and I never got it why some of my friends were so impressed by it. Last time I watched it at all was in the end of the sixth season, mainly because Buffy and Spike were having this totally hot relationship - but then the writers ruined it totally and I went off again. But now Space has been showing Buffy's sixth and seventh season (you guessed it, at noon) and I've started watching it again. So I admit it, it's not too shabby after all.

I've also been following Spike TV's reruns of Star Trek: Next Generation with much happy nostalgic feelings. That series has actually been better than I remembered it - or is it a sure sign that I'm getting old if for example Wesley doen't annoy me half as much as he used to. The whole series is much higher quality that a lot of series are "nowadays" - I don't think it jumped the shark until seventh season. Sixth season still contains some of my favourite episodes: Time's Arrow (time travel, of course), Chain of Command (what absolutely fantastic acting from Patrick Stewart), Tapestry (what ifs, love them) and Timescape (whodunnit/whahappen mystery). Shame then that the seventh season contains the biggest stinkers of them all.

And of course, the original Star Trek is always been shown on some channel, so I love to catch that for my favourite episodes. Funny, I can still quote most of Amok Time line by line. Ten points for first person who can finish this quote: "Live long and prosper, Spock" as said by legendary T'Pau in the said episode.

Wednesday double class

Normally I prefer to take an earlier yoga class so I can be home about the same time as Dragon does. But I've started to take the double class on Wednesday that finishes after nine - maybe it's better this way as then Dragon gets some me-time alone which he normally never gets.

Today's flow class was absolutely fantastic: the room was full and hot, and Jason was teaching, and I love his classes. I was actually using a prop this time, a yoga block to get some asanas easier. Especially with some revolved moves where my hand doesn't quite reach the floor and where I have some serious balance issues were helped quite a lot with the block. I think after two and bit years of practice I start to see depth in moves I thought I knew how to do before - for example in many ways I find the sun salutations harder now: trying to keep bandhas engaged, starting to do the proper jump backs, and well almost every part of the series I could improve some. The only bit I think I can do really well is down dog, and that is one of my favourite asanas. I don't mean to sound too depressive - it's just one of those things that I love about yoga, there's always something more you can achieve.

After that I did Kristen's yin class. I'm starting already to appreciate what yin can give me - I've never believed that I should stick with one style of yoga only, and doing yin just keeps verifying that. Many of the things I loved about iyengar like supported poses are used in yin too, so I believe I'm moving into the right direction.

Constantine

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!

I went to see Constantine a couple of days back, and I gotta admit, I have mixed feelings. After several disasters in Hollywood comic adaptation front (the horrible Blade 3 and unutterably awful Elektra), Constantine is a big, big improvement; it is a is solid, entertaining movie set in the world of occult. If this film had not been based on DC comic Hellblazer, I would have really enjoyed it. However, the trenchcoat-wearing, wise-cracking magus John Constantine is a comic character like no other (with the possible exception of Usagi Yojimbo), and I doubt any movie production done outside the direct supervision of the creators of the original comic series could have done it justice.

These were the things that bothered me about the movie:

1) John Constantine is an Englishman. I understand that the holy tenant of Hollywood is that no American will go an see a movie that does not feature an American as a hero. But John is as British as they come: He is a full-blooded Londoner, gin-drinking Jack-o-lad with a thick London accent. He is blonde, blue-eyed Englishman who has incredibly sharp tongue and quick wit. Lets be honest, Keanu Reeves is none of those things. I rest my case.

2) John Constantine is absolutely, positively NOT a good guy. In fact, he is what Americans would call an asshole, and more correctly, British would call a wanker. He is a con-man, womanizer, occultist, chain-smoker and more often than not a reason why his friends and family die. He is the kind of anti-hero a real person can relate to. Constantine in the movie is actually nice, blameless guy who has never committed a sin in his life intentionally. Understandable of course if you consider the current religious climate of US, but disappointing nonetheless.

3) Constantine is not an action hero. In the comic John uses his wits, guile and very, very subtle magic to achieve his goals. Guns, fists and fast reflexes are not his style. Keanu Reeves however cannot do without big explosions and flashy action. To the credit of the film makers, John DOES use his brains in each of his many fights, which make it all more palatable.

If you are Constantine purist, take deep breath, remember that it is a Hollywood movie and go and see it –if you can look past the misgivings it is actually quite a good movie, and the supporting cast is excellent. Half-angel Gabriel and Lucifer are brilliant: the actors really enjoy their roles and it shows.

If you have not read the comics, go and see the film before you do –you’ll enjoy it more. But afterwards, go and buy Hellblazer: Dangerous Habits album that the movie is based on, and get blown away by the sheer excellence of this the best of mainstream comics.

Lets just hope Hollywood does not attempt to make a movie of Transmetropolitan. I’d hate to see Politically Correct Spider Jerusalem...

One day at a time

As you might have noticed, I'm having some problems again staying on the surface.

However I'm thankful of my drug, and I am hanging in there, hour at a time, day at a time. I started to think about this seriously today when I felt like skipping a second yoga class in a row (yesterday I didn't go as I was "tired") - but I forced myself out and again I was really that I went. I almost feel like yoga is the only thing that's keeping me sane at the moment - it gives me routine, it gives me interaction with people and it gives me mental and physical stimulation. Other thing that brings me joy is gentle Dragon who is happy to give me cuddles and kisses when I need them.

It's been raining again today, but it's still very warm, I dress up almost like it's summer. I imagine we've been very lucky - I don't think weather is usually here this good: mild, and although the guide book claims that it should be raining almost 70% of the time, for example past month or so this has been the first day that it has been raining properly.

We saw a David Attenborough program the other day about eagles, and it turned out that our bold eagles as fishing eagles are actually fairly social animals. Especially in the spring they gather in large groups to collect dying salmon who have layed their eggs. I saw one pair of our bold eagles again on Sunday, again followed by an angry mob of gulls, and yesterday I saw a lone youngster that was still all brown.

Chinatown

A cold night
Friends dropped in
We drank tea instead of wine
The kettle hissed
The charcoal glowed
A bright moon shone outside the window
There was nothing special
- But, ah, the plum - the blossom

This ancient Chinese poem about tea with friends sums it up for me pretty well.

I had decided yesterday that if the weather was good, I'd go to Chinatown today. Despite living here so many months, this is the first time I've been there. Vancouver's Chinatown is big, third largest Chinese community outside China - most of Vancouver's 100 000 Chinese live there. I mainly wanted to have brief glimpse, and I wanted to visit some of the tea shops to buy some tea.

Since I wanted to arrive "the proper way", I walked from Granville down West Pender so I would enter through the Chinatown Gates (pictured right). The day was indeed beautiful, and soon I took my jacket off and just walked around in my t-shirt. Vancouver's Chinatown is the real deal - most of the time I was the only Western person within a block, and probably stuck out like a sore thumb.

Ren Ten Tea & Ginseng Company on Main was recommended by my guide book and people on Discover Vancouver forum, so that's where I headed. Beautiful shop, full of huge tins of teas, most of them with names I didn't recognise. In Europe - especially in England, Oolong teas (type of tea between green and black) are not that popular, in fact I've never tasted them - but in here they seem really popular, maybe especially amongst the Chinese population. I had decided in advance that I would get some Jasmine tea - and after browsing some and being unable to decide a lady came to help me. I asked for Jasmine tea and she poured some leaves from a bag to a little cup and allowed me to smell the tea, and I was in love: exactly what I was looking for. She wanted to sell me a huge several hundred gram tin, and I asked for the smallest one they had... which turned out to be that 120 gram box you see in the photo on the left. Everything in the shop was in those kind of beautiful boxes and tins you see that one in - I so wanted to buy more. But I know full well that I still have enough tea left to last me for a while - I'll get some more when I take Chu there, perhaps.

I continued browsing on the streets, popped in to a bakery to get those buns you see on that photo - one with the cross has a chicken filling, and the other one is BBQ pork. These are the kind of buns you see in Hong Kong films - I've always wanted to taste some. Taste is not quite to my Western taste, but I think I could quickly get used to it - the filling was pretty predictable savoury filling, and the bun was pretty predictable bread... not sure about the sweet glazing though. Still, nice enough.

Food shops there were pretty amazing - and selection was obviously catering to the Chinese population, for example fruit selections were small and vegetable selections huge with lot of black roots and things I didn't regocnize. And the amount of dried produce was huge - mainly srimp, fish and other seafood (I think) but mostly stuff I didn't have any idea what they could possibly be. All displayed out on the street in huge bags and boxes with scoops so you could just help yourself. (I didn't. Not that brave yet.)

On my way back I stopped at T & T Supermarket just by the Chinatown Skytrain station - this is a huge Chinese supermarket with lots of... well, Chinese stuff. Live fish, crabs and other seafood warrant a mention as a curiosity - well, if you want to make sure that your seafood is fresh, this is your place. I went in to browse, ended up buying some Dim Sum, thinking that surely Dragon would be disappointed if I didn't have anything for him. In the cashier queue I decided to take some sweets (or cakes, or whatever category these things were) "green tea flavoured rolls" because they looked so nice and green. They don't taste like green tea though - they taste more like sugar and flour, but after two I decided I actually quite liked them. A bit like Turkish delights, in texture.

Sunday night musings

Feeling a bit blue today.

I miss my friends, and I can't wait for another three weeks for Chu to get here. I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling like this now, and I'm thinking it's probably because I'm again fazed by the idea of trying to look for a job. I'm slowly coming around to the fact that I actually do want a new job, compared to the old "I'm quite happy the way I am right now". I do feel that I have something to contribute and that I would be a good investment for any company... Just need to find the company that feels the same way.

It's not made easier by a thread I read the other day in Discover Vancouver Forum that said that Canadian employers are basically rasist and prefer Canadians over Europeans or other nationalities. Granted, I need to take this with a pinch of salt, like everything you read on this forum, or any other forum on the internet really... And then Laura said on Thursday that she thought Vancouver would be a difficult city to find a job in, and she's not the only person I've heard saying something similar. The seeds have been sown and it's all just adding to my self doubt.

It's one thing being rejected when you don't really want a job - but being rejected when you're begging for it... I feel I'm letting Dragon down, I'm letting everyone down who thinks I'm smart and professional... I don't really believe it, but still what if it turns out they are all wrong, and I've just been bluffing my way so far, that I don't really have any skills or redeeming qualities...

Hoping tomorrow will be better.

The Snow by Adam Roberts

While I thought Polystom was very good, the brilliance of The Snow came to me as a surprise. All those little details that annoyed me in Polystom - writer's scientific background shining trough, abruptness of the end - this book was just miles better.

The book starts when the world ends. One day the snow starts to fall, and while people are happy in the beginning, the snow doesn't stop, it falls until it lies three miles thick across the whole of the earth. Six billion people die, a few thousand survive eating food "mined" from food stocks below.

I always think it's courageous (or foolhardy) of male writers to write female main characters, since they most of the time don't capture my gender that well. This book's other main character, Tira, is a British woman of Indian descendant. If there is one complain about this book, I'd say that it's the fact that Tira is a woman only by title, but she doesn't actually behave or feel like a woman would. She is a rare survivor though - both in surviving the snow, and then surviving the totalitarian post-snow world where women are desired commodity. That world actually reminded me of another of my favourite boks, Handmaiden's Tale by Margaret Atwood, although this book isn't nearly as extreme.

Book is written as separate surviving documents mostly declared illegal by the Goverment of the People, and it puts together pieces and making sense of a facinating story. Idea is refreshing and original, not something that can be said of many books these days. And I can't really give much higher prase to a book.

I'd say that this book earns the place for Roberts in my essential authors list. Go and read it.

Mats and mattresses

Sounds like a word game, doesn't it? You know like "sense and sensibility"?

Anyway, I had decided not to go to yoga today, because firstly I had to stay at home waiting for the delivery of the new futon mattress for the sofa, and secondly because I think I've overdone yoga a bit this week and I'm feeling sore. Sears gave me a useful time frame of 8 to 18 when the mattress was going to be delivered, but it actually came soon after nine so I didn't have wait by the phone too long. The new mattress is better than the old one, still not quite as plump as the one they have on display - but it really doesn't matter as they didn't pick up the old one... so now we have two. Should be soft enough even for a princess.

And because I didn't have any yoga today I decided that I had been holding off too long giving my trusty yoga mat a wash so I decided to do that. I had the impression that you could just take it to the shower with you and wash it with some mild soap, so that's what I did. Only I hadn't quite realised how spongy material the mat really is, and that it becomes incredibly heavy when fully wet. In addition, it sucks the soapy water in like, well, a sponge, and getting the soap out is next to impossible. So I was doing weird acrobatics in the shower - just imagine me naked in the shower wrestling with a heavy mat (or not if it makes you feel funny), water spraying everywhere, trying to squeeze the water and the soap out of the mat...

Result: flood in the bathroom, dead tired kolibri and a mat that is now drying but full of soap water that will probably make it very slippery with a touch of moisture. I think I'll try the mat out tomorrow and try rinse it off again if it's too unpleasant to use. So here's my tip for people planning to wash their mats: use only minute amounts of soap, if even that.

Serving a life sentence

I received an email from the Jane Goodall Institute couple of days ago talking about the use of chimpanzees and other great apes in the entertainment industry. This has come to surface now because one of the advertisers on this year's Super Bowl, the most important advertisement event of the year, used chimpanzees in their ad. This ad was immensly popular and not only is the company, CareerBuilder.com (and if you really want to, you can see those disgusting ads on their site), planning a campaign using chimps, now several other big companies are considering using chipms, orangutans and other primates.

People who know me better know how close to my heart chimps, apes and all primates are. I've been known to rant about the subject and get angry. But the thing is - I believe this most horrid animal abuse only happens because people are ignorant of the subject. There are cruel and heartless people who make this happen, but if general public really knew what was going on they wouldn't stand for it. So, if you don't know about the abuse, here are some facts - if you do, it's good to keep it in fresh memory.

First consider this: if we continue to kill great apes and distroy their habitats the speed we're doing now, in 20 years there won't be any great apes left in the wild. Some animals will remain in the zoos around the world, but for example highland gorillas will be gone forever. But if people see apes on TV every day, it gives them not only the impression that these animals are plentiful, but that this is how they behave. Dressing up chimps is not cute, it's degrading and if they got the chance they would never wear anyting - and did you know that the "toothy chimp smile" you see on those ads is actually a fear grin?

All the chimps you see used in commercials, movies and TV are young animals who have been forcefully taken from their mothers. Typically they have been taken from the wild, and as chimps are social animals and babies and in the core of their society, this means not only killing the mother but other members of the group too who try to save the baby. This is very traumatic to the young animal, and most of them die before they reach the buyer which only creates more need for chimp babies.

When they do get to the trainers, the trainers don't have time or patience to train the animals gently - the methods most trainers use are harsh and include beating, electrocuting, removing teeth and using sedatives. It's not uncommon for the animals to severly injure themselves or even die in the hands of their trainers. Chimps have minds of their own, and when they come to puberty they want to strech their powers just like a human teenager. But because your average chimp is 5 to 6 times stronger than a human it means that they become extremely dangerous not only to their trainers but everyone - and lets face it, the only language they have been taught is violence.

And when this happens, the only way out is to get rid of the animal - it is impossible to let animals like that to interact with people. The lucky ones are killed - reputable zoos refuse to take these animals, because the chimps haven't grown up with their kind and haven't been socialised they can't be introduced into eshtablished groups. So they end up in dodgy roadside zoos where their conditions are horrific - small concrete cages, alone, no stimulation and garbabe for food. Some end up in foreign zoos where conditions can be even worse, or sold to suspicious medical laboratories. In the end they end up dying terrible deaths anyway.

If a company uses apes or other primates in their ads, I refuse to shop there. If a movie uses them as actors, I won't go and see the film. For futher reading on the subject I suggest you see the short film produced by The Chimpanzee Collaboratory called Serving a Life Sentence, check out Jane Goodall Institute and read the article Primates in Peril from PETAs web site.

Slow life

This week has been pretty slow for me - after weeks and weeks of pure sunshine and fabulous weather it has been cloudy and rainy (and be sure to check out the photo I took on Sunday of the magical fog). Weather affects my mood, without a doubt and this week I've been lazy to go out except for yoga. Today I've cleaned up the house as I thought Clay and Laura would be coming to watch a movie (but it turned out Dragon had a team building event thingie), so I went for the three hour double yoga class, and I'm so dead tired now.

I've actually got someting important to say for a change, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow.

"Tuck the tailbone under"

Now and again the old "tuck the tailbone under" crops up. I thought I'd mastered it already, but in yin class there has been a lot of talk about tilting the pelvis which I now understand to be just a different way of saying tuck the tailbone under.

Kelly keeps talking about the pelvic tilt when doing the dragonfly pose (yin's version of a Upavistha Konasana) and teaches us that if we sit on right on the edge of a foam block so that it even rises off the floor, we start doing the pelvic tilt. I can see her pelvis do the tilt very clearly, but my pelvis just doesn't work that way.

And then today came a lightbulb moment when I was doing the dragon pose (yin's variation of a runner's lunge) Jason came up to me and told me that instead of going deep into the pose and putting my hands on the floor, I should stay up instead, put my elbow on my knee and "tuck the tailbone under". He even tried to move my hips the way they should go when you tilt the pelvis - but again, my pelvis just doesn't do that movement, not yet anyway.

Kelly and Jason keep saying over and over again, on each class, how we are all different, and while some people can easily do some poses they are next to impossible to some people. This is down to people's different skeletons and joints, and different poses are bound to look very different when different people are doing them. Because in the western world we sit on chairs all of our lives where our backs are supported, our hips are very inflexible. There are no situations where need to open the hips, and when people become tired they slump their backs and then the pelvis automatically tilts back.

Tilting of the hips forward - tucking the tailbone under - needs to be taught to western people all over again. But here's what hit home today: for all pupils this movement will look different. The teacher - without coming to feel your pelvis - can't know how your pelvis is tilted and can only make a rough estimate from afar, and will often compare you to other students. For me, right now, the tilt is hardly noticable - I can sometimes feel it, but not all of the time and I hope to get better at this someday. The move that I was doing before standing up: straightening my spine, is part of the move for me - but it's completely different when I'm sitting down, or doing a headstand upside down.

Good feeling, realising something after so many years.