Beluga whales at the Vancouver aquarium

City of glass, indeed

Mountains are back

We went to see the view from the Lookout tower with Janne today. It's gorgeus weather today, so the mountains have come back from hiding.

Mission success... and maybe a failure

Yesterday was pretty miserable weather-wise, but successful monitor-wise. It poured down pretty much all day - and all the time I was walking around downtown looking at different LCD monitors. I wanted to go for a 19" Sony - but fortunately they were out of stock (and I say fortunately as I'm sure it was more expensive than I really could afford), so in the end we went for a 17" Samsung with and in-built TV tuner. As I don't have a computer yet I can't tell you how good it really is, but it looked pretty sweet at the shop (which was - incidentally - Future Shop although I only read Gareth's suggestion today).

I went for lunch with Dragon and his gaming friends to a superb Thai restaurant - I have to say that if all restaurants are of this quality around here I'll double my weight in six months. On my list of restaurants to try is definetly a Mongolian BBQ restaurant next to this net cafe that seems to be very popular - last night when it was pouring down there was a queue to get there that extended outside in the rain... so it's got to be good. They also prepare the food on display which is always nice - they have this round flat wok kind of thing on the front, around one meter in diameter, where they cook the food. And while talking about restaurants - there is a huge amount of Japanise restaurants here, pretty much every block has one or more. Food is cheap and good - around $10 CDN gets you a really nice meal... I'm sure we won't die of hunger here.

But amidst all these wonderful things, I feel anxious and a bit lonely. I hope yesterday doesn't prove to be a typical day (but I fear it will): alone home, waiting for the husband to come home. And that's it!?! I refuse to let my life become that. So next week I'll find a yoga studio and start yoga again, and maybe Tai Chi, to try to break the spell. There are familiar things here that give me comfort - TV shows that we used to watch, but also familiar brands of food and other items, which was a nice surprise (when I first moved to England everything was new and I kind of expected the same this time - but it's been a lot better). It may sound strange to find comfort in brands, but at this point anything familiar is gratefully accepted.

Maples

Maples and maple leafs are everywhere. I wonder if it's the cause or an effect?

Public transport

Seems to mainly consist of tram-like busses that take their electricity from the wires above.

Day one behind

Note to self: while jet-lagged, even if you feel cold-ish and ill, under no circumstances is it a good idea to take a nap.

Ahem. Day one behind us, and I'm already left home alone as Dragon has gone to a meeting with some games industry people. We went for a longish walk yesterday to check out downtown, but I didn't have enough warm clothes on, so we had to turn back sooner than we had planned.

Vancouver seems to be a strange mixture of new and old (and when I say old, I don't mean English old, I mean like 50 year old) - there can be a small wooden house two meters away from a glassy sky scraper. There is nature everywhere - big trees and bushes growing up right next to apartment buildings, and there are lot of water features that reflect the trees and sky from the glass buildings. Architecture is a mixture of very Scandinavian looking houses with a touch of American Deep South which is perplexing (but we saw this in Toronto area too).

Almost immediately when we came home, Janne texted me to ask if we wanted to go out exploring - I was frozen to the bone at that point and wanted nothing else than to curl up under the covers with a book, but Dragon over-enthustiastically wanted to go for another run. Rest of my evening was then spent on the sofa reading and watching TV (I'm still trying to decipher which channels are American and which are Canadian - we certainly get some US channels like UPN and Spike)... and yes, it seemed like a good idea to take a little nap while waiting for Dragon to call.

Today's mission: find and buy a good LCD monitor.

"Welcome to Vancouver..."

"...a nuclear weapons free zone." That's always good to know, isn't it?

Almost home

New life, here we go

We're sitting in a net cafe couple of hundred meters away from our flat, checking emails, and blogging of course. This morning it's rains, and the mountains seems to have pretty much disappeared into the mist. One neighbour on the other side of road is keeping his surfing board on his balcony, and another one already has a christmas tree in their living room.

Yesterday's trip was pretty much a success all the way - flight was long, but nice enough... we got some sleep, Dragon read 1,5 books and I got half way to Trace by Patricia Cornwell. Immigration was totally not a problem - there was no queue and Dragon had all the papers ready, so it was really just a formality. Although we had been warned that it could take hours and they might ask really personal probing questions, the immigration official was really nice and just chatted and joked with us - I think the most personal question he asked of me was if my husband playing on the console all the time was affecting our relationship! (The answer of course is that I knew what I was doing when I married him - and that of course games are bringing the bread to the table so I can't really complain anyway.)

The temporary flat we have is small with three really tiny rooms and a kitchenette in the living room, but it's got all we need for now. We went to a local supermarket last night to get some basic groceries - and it turned out to be a Safeway... mind you, I never shopped at Safeway "back home in England", but still. To my surprise, quite a few brands were familiar - for example tea was all Tetley's and Twinings (I went for a local brand just out of principle), but there wasn't loose tea on offer. Packs are huge, for example juice mostly comes in two liter cartons. And for reference - they do used coins for trollies as Gareth said, but they did all the weighing of the fruit and packing for me... so I can live with that.

News on TV don't talk about Europe, and I didn't realise until now how hungry I am for news. First news I checked was of course if Rocco Buttiglione had been chosen as a comissioner, and was happy to hear that the whole commission had been withdrawn. And Kilroy is in trouble again... sigh.

But that's it for news from Vancouver for now. We'll be probably checking out the city a bit today, and I'll try to post some photos if I can (GPRS connection seems to randomly fail - it worked this morning but doesn't at the moment so I can't post a photo I took of the apartment block we call (temporary) home... but later, if Gods of the internet allow me).

Awake

I knew going to bed at nine was a mistake, but we just couldn't stay awake any longer. Now it's five in the morning and I'm wide awake - as I've had my eight hours beauty sleep.

First impressions of Vancouver: people - even at customs amd immigration - are jolly and friendly. Air smells crisp and sharp, and autumn is even more colourful than in Finland with multitude of red and yellow leaves. The mountains... are just there all the time and they feel so unreal. Like someone left a huge matte painting there.

I'm going to try to get some more sleep next, more later.

Hello Vancouver

Bye bye Finland

Signing off

Ok, this will be my last proper entry for couple of days at least - I'll be doing some photo heavy moblogging until I get my computer set up properly in our temporary digs in Vancouver. Which might be as early as later this week, as my computer apparently has already arrived there and broadband should be available in the flat - but we'll see how high up that is on our priority list, I'd imagine there are quite a few other things we need to do too (and I need to buy a new monitor as well).

So wish us luck, and don't start any flame wars while we're not watching.

Next

Last days in Finland before flying out to Vancouver on Wednesday morning.

We met Dragon's grandmother and mother today, meeting Mikki later on and then we're having an early celebration of Dragon's birthday tomorrow evening. It's been a weird holiday this time - not meeting many people, for some reason. To be honest, I've been just sleeping a lot which probably just shows how exhausted I have been.

Still, and dispite what I expected, I've been mostly living and thinking Finland. Only today when we needed to sort out last details I've started again thinking about moving and my new life, thoughts move on to what to wear and read in the plane.

Not feeling sad anymore, not really. England is in my heart, and probably will be for quite some time to come, but time in Finland has given me enough distance so it doesn't hurt (acutely) anymore.

Peacekeeper wars

Watched Farscape: Peacekeeper Wars with the Blocks. Firstly, it was good to see the crew again, but then again I think they tried to put too much into just four hours. Especially first hour or so you couldn't even blink so that you wouldn't miss anything... and some of the plot twists were fantastical at best. Looked and feeled superb though.

Need to think about it a bit more and I'll write more about when my brain has processesed it a bit more.

Blending in

I was going trough some old photos I've taken when I found this. You know how moths try to blend in with the background like chameleons - this moth is pretending to be a black and white timetable. Nature is cool.

Too much garlic?!?

I have - if possible - eaten too much garlic. The other evening when my sister and her boyfriend were over to play some Mah Jong (I won, in case you didn't guess) I ate too much laukkaleipä, which is this fabulous new invention of dry rye bread roasted in oil and garlic (my sister says it's also fantastic with lager). You eat the pieces of bread first, but when they run out, you're left with the crumbs that you just have to eat because you're still feeling peckish, and they are basically just raw(ish) garlic and crumbs of bread, and when eating them I knew I was going to get a stomach ache for it. And true enough the next night I woke up several times to drink some water because my poor tummy was really sore.

By the end of next evening I was feeling a lot better, so I decided to eat some marinated garlic cloves with my pork chops, yummy. Mistake, I'd say... still it was all worth it.

Fairly late last night we decided to go and have dinner with J-Ko as he was in town. He's got a good head broadly on his shoulders, and isn't afraid to tell me when I'm being silly - he's also got this ability to turn misfortunes (how I see them) into fortunes (how he sees them). So the conversation was much needed and much appreciated.

It's all relatives

I think you should just shut up now.
- My grandmother to my grandfather

I love my grandparents, but sometimes they can be very tiring. Especially my grandmother - she is very opiniated and isn't afraid to speak her mind, at the same time she loves attention and hates my grandfater getting some. Comments like that above are not uncommon - today on several occasions I had to step away from the table for a moment because the arguments were too difficult to listen to.

Still, I'll miss them. We're not sure if we'll be able to come to Finland on Christmas, so it might be a while when I see them again.

I love this game

'Nuf said.

Supermarkets

I hate Finnish supermarkets. I don't want to sound all high and mighty, but seriously, they don't know how to serve customers.

For example, fruit and vegetables: there's this military routine you have to perform - you need to weigh your fruit yourself, and you have to remember a code that you need to enter on the scales to get the little sticker printed out. Now in England, lovely England, the fruit would either be weighed at the till - with no extra bother to the customer, the king, or the weighing system would have a friendly user interface with pictures and absolutely no remembering of codes.

Trollies... what is it with the Finnish obsession of having to put in a coin to get your trolley, and then having to return the trolley to the place that's most convinient for the shop, i.e. next to the entrance, not where it's best for the customer, i.e. next to your car. In England most supermarkets would employ people to move the trollies about to make everything easy to the customer.

At the till... in England the cashier would wait until I've put my stuff on the belt, would check that I'm ready to start packing before starting to put the stuff trough. They would make sure I have all the bags I need, they would ask if I needed help with packing. In Finland, the cashier, as soon as they are capable, start putting the stuff trough so I have to throw my stuff on the belt in a hurry and then rush to pack them, and when the cashier is ready they will demand the payment, no matter what I'm doing (and did I mention that in England they would wait until I'm ready). And then they put the next customer trough immediately.

I know all these things are something that you can live with and something you learn to cope with, but that's not the point I'm trying to make. The point is that the shops here have managed to train their customers so that the customers do the work that's really meant for the shops to do... and worst is that people don't seem to mind.

Soppy & the Sentimentals

You
You are a lighthouse
What does a lighthouse do?
Shine it's guiding light through the night
Anywhere the wind blows

For those who follow the comments on my entries know that my recent entry about the The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain got the attention of one of the guys in the band, Peter Brooke Turner, who offered to send me his new solo album in return for a review in this blog. I loved Secret of Life so it wasn't a difficult choice... and bearing in mind I'm not a professional "reviewer" or anything, here it is...

I got this CD - called Soppy and the Sentimentals, done under Peter's pseudonym Tony Penultimate - at a time when I was incredibly busy at work (and I listen most of my music at work when I need to concentrate). I put the CD in expecting... I don't know, I was expecting something similar to Ukulele Orchestra.

This CD is nothing like it - first I couldn't even describe what sort of music it was... only word that came to mind was easy listening but that would just make it sound bad and it's not. Jaana-Mari suggested it was 50's style lounge music when I played the CD to an audience the other day - think of Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack, but tongue in cheek.

So, imagine yourself sitting in a hotel bar, there's a cheesy band playing in the corner - their lead singer is a handsome tall man who sometimes sings out of tune, but the band plays well. You don't pay attention to them at first, until the lyrics catch you ear - and when you do, you notice that everyone is having fun - they don't take themselves seriously but do what they enjoy. And you're forced to sit there and listen the set until the end, mesmerised.

Well, that's how I felt anyway. I find this CD fun to listen to, and I find myself putting it on, time after time - and it was the other one of only two CDs I took with me to Finland before I get reunited with rest of my CD collection in Canada. My favourite tracks are the more loungy ones - the opening track TWYL that melted my heart, the over-confident I Made You Love Me, giggly Julio, the title track Soppy and the Sentimentals - but my favourite is perhaps the quoted Lighthouse because after listening to it I can't get it out of my head.

So, if Ukes didn't capture your imagination - as to my amazement I find they don't some people - give Tony Penultimate a try (there's a sample on his site). It might not be for everyone, but for me it's music that cheers me up and makes me smile. And that can't be said about many other artists.

Sauna therapy

Ah, more nights like this.

Last night Chu came over and we had a good long sauna, and a good long gossip... and I told her how I felt, and she listened... and she understood, just like I knew she would.

These are the lazy moments I enjoy so much: having a proper sauna, taking it slow, sitting outside in your towel - it's rainy, cold and dark and miserable, but you feel happy because it's refreshing to feel the raindrops on your toes, and behind your back the sauna is still hot and you know you can go back into the warmth as soon as you want.

By the end of the evening I felt... better.

All is well, but...

I hoped last night's get together with my closest friends would have lessened my sadness, but it did so only temporarily. I still feel melancholy, and I feel out of place. Evening was very nice, don't get me wrong - one of those peaceful evenings when conversations scatter all over and you talk about everything that comes to mind... but (mostly) avoiding conversations about mobiles and computers as it tends to send everyone else except me and Henri to sleep. We stayed up too late, but my excuse is trying to get to Vancouver time.

Today we had my sister, her boyfriend and my uncle here for Sunday lunch. Sunday luches have always been a tradition in my family - it's time when we get together as a family, and often invite friends and other family over. Nice, too, but I ate too much of the Moscow stew my mother had made, and far too much of her apple pie.

So everything should be fine, right?

But I don't think anyone around me truly understands how I feel. I don't think anyone undrestands my bardo.

Reflections

Phew.

For the first time in months, I can kind of relax. We arrived to Finland late last night and were greeted by Carlos and HunnuH who very kindly had offered to take us home. I say home - but really, I'm currently homeless. We stay at my parent's place in Jollas, and yes, we have a place to go to in Vancouver, but we don't have a real home.

But here we are. Last week was tough, the move was hard work even when we didn't have to do any packing or moving ourselves... still there were about a million little other things that needed doing. But, everything went well. In fact, pretty much everything to do with the move went according to plan.

Still. I feel sad. I've just left behind over seven years of my life, seven years I was happy. I graduated in England, I worked there, I made friends and my home there. I loved the country, I loved the people, the culture... It was home.

Now. I don't know "what now". I believe I'll make my home again in Vancouver, in Canada... but now... My mother describes my state as bardo, the Buddhist state between lifes, after dying but before rebirth. It describes what I'm feeling pretty acurately - I feel I've died a little death, I've left behind a life, and I have a new life waiting for me - it just hasn't started yet.

It'll take I while, I think.

Hello Helsinki

Bye bye England

Bye bye Southsea

Almost there

I can't believe we've actually made it this far. We've managed to get rid of all unwanted rubbish, and dispite a little glitch, the removal men are almost here. We've checked into a very English seaside hotel few meters down the road, and I've taken the first shower since I don't remember how long - I'm almost feeling like a human again. As you can see from the photo below, the hotel decor is - true to it's nature - very tasteless. The electric shower had two temperatures to choose from: too hot and too cold (and for me hot wins, every time).

There are some things I won't miss about England.

Exhausted

Immensly busy day today, we've been on our feet from 8 and even though there's still stuff to do I need my sleep now. We've been shitfing rubbish and going trough our belongins deciding what's going and what's going to Canada. Although we both came to England with next to no possessions, we've gathered enourmous amount of... something within the past seven years, and there are so many things I really don't need. So in that way this is very cleansing experience.

Except I'm sneezing like crazy from all the dust, my eyes are watery and I'm grumpy and unpleasant. Sure sign that I really need to go to bed now.

But Iain M. Banks was very cool - even though we really didn't have time to go and listen to him, I'm really glad we went. Not only a very funny, he was politically quite aware too and made several remarks about Dubya and Tony - for example did you know that last year he cut up his passport as a protest to the war and sent it to 10 Downing Street? Just to prove that they certainly didn't, they invited him to meet Tony and Cherie this year to celebrate some Scottish literary doo-daa... his answer was a sarcastic thanks but no thanks.

Body shutting down primary functions...

One more...

To top an extremely busy day we managed to book ourselves some tickets to hear Iain M. Banks reading from his latest book. If I had known start time of 18.30 meant that the doors opened then not that the event would start, I wouldn't have ended up in yet another queue.

Back to square one

There's a sight I haven't seen for a while.

Nottingham tour continues

We've done some actual sight-seeing today: we went to see the castle and other popular targets. I took lot of photos - I don't have much from the time we used to live here, and with a digital camera it doesn't cost anything, so why not. We got gloves and a hat for Dragon as the weather here is a bit chilly for us southeners, and after that I tried to get rid of last of my cold by taking a nap.

We met Andy and his "new" wife Jessica for lunch for some tapas and had a nice long chat about life and all, but mostly about games. (And I say "new" because this is the first time I've met her.) We loitered a bit in town until wandering over to the location of the photo below. This is a queue to meet one of our favourite wrestlers, Eddie Guerrero... After that it's probably time for the evening's show.

Nottingham

Nottingham is pretty much exactly how I remembered it. In fact I think I had forgotten how much I used to love it here. Nottingham is beautiful in some aspects, ugly in others, but it's busy and full of life, even on a Sunday afternoon. Weather is sunny but a bit nippy here, and I'm glad that I took my hat and gloves.

Start

My rental car has a start button and no key. Next stop: Nottingham.

Carless

Well, the car is sold now, and although the Ford dealer didn't want it, another dealer snapped it up so eagerly I probably let it go too cheap. Oh well, I got what I thought it was worth after the bump last week so I refuse to feel too bad about it. Now I'm off to deposit the check and later on I'll pick up my rental car for the rest of the stay... But it looks like I've crossed off everything on my to-do list now.

Bye bye Newbury

Last Christmas

Well, it looks like it's Christmas at our lunchtime pub Narrow Boat. Fridays are busy here and today is no exception... It's smoky and noisy inside so we're sitting outside, it's not exactly warm but it's ok.

Mixed emotions

There are going to be quite a lot of lasts today.

I've come to work in Newbury for the last time, and I've driven the route for the last time (luckily my last traffic jam was yesterday...). Yesterday I went out with my friends for the last time, went for a curry for the last time - and had a green curry for the first time... Probably going to the pub lunchtime for the last time, and then I'll drive home to Southsea for the last time.

Mixed emotions. I feel a bit sad, but on the other hand I'm happy that I'm one step closer to the "new life". I will keep in touch so it's not like I'm going to leave these people, exept physically.

Last time

I've just filled up my car for the last time. It's not the fact in itself that is sad, just the fact that some kind of an era is over.

Anxiety mounting again

Penultimate day at work, I feel shaken. We've just had a big project meeting about the just finished project trying to figure out what went wrong (and what went well, too). Lot of shouting and hand-waiving, all with good humour though. At this point I'm not sure if I should continue working full speed or ease up - truth is that much of tomorrow will be just packing and arranging my stuff.

Tonight we're going out to celebrate the project finishing, and I guess myself leaving. I've only told Woja so far that I'm still going to be around as I wasn't sure if that was appropriate thing to tell anyone else - after all it's not 100% confirmed (as I haven't signed anything) and I really don't want it to look bad on anyone in case it doesn't work out. Several people have remarked though that I should be continue working from home even from Canada. But having confirmed with the boss that it was ok to tell peeps, I think I'll do it tonight... For some reason I'm not in a mood for celebrating today, and I definetly don't feel like drawing attention to myself tonight, I already feel anxious about it.

I've also rented a car from Saturday till Friday - which means I really need to sell my car on Saturday... it is my plan anyway, and I'm hoping that it will be as simple as that. Get the car cleaned and washed up on Saturday morning, take it to a dealer, say I'd like to sell it and take the money. How difficult can it be? I just hope I'll still be able to get a half decent amount of it, but to be honest I don't have the energy or the time to start comparing offers.

Dragon tells me half of NTL's internet connections are down and it doesn't look promising... so don't expect any updates from the home troops.

Taskforce Dragon

Another day out running around the town in order to satisfy the gods of bureaucracy.

Out of the list of 43 essential things to take care of before the move, 39 have been successfully crossed over (though selling my collection of games will be a hard one).

I will reward myself by playing some Star Ocean 3 tonight.

Moving earth

Coming from Finland and Europe where there is no vocanic or seismic activity, it's weird to discover that not only are we moving to an earthquake area, there is also an active volcano in the neighbourhood that's about to erupt.

New old job

Well, good news is that I'm definetly going to have a job in Canada, at least for a while. My current employer has offered me a contract - doing more or less the same job than I currently do, only from home in Vancouver. How well this is going to work in practice remains to be seen, but they need me and I need a job so we're going to try our best. Taxation is an interesting topic and we need to avoid the worst case scenario where I would be taxed in two countries... so I might have to start a one-woman company that then bills the other company... or some-such thing.

In many ways this is the best case scenario - I can still continue to work with an interesting product I've helped to develop, with a good team and a company, and most importantly with people that I know and like. At the same time I can work from home: 10 second trip to work instead of 1.5 hours will be a good start. I can live in a beautiful city with my husband, and I can pretend I'm my own boss and have siesta lunchtime if I want to (something I think should be made a law anyway).

I'm very happy about this, and really really hope we can make it work, even if it's temporary. At least that would give me some time to settle in before starting another job hunt.

Alexander –the Virtues of War by Steven Pressfield

The sarissa’s song is a sad song
He pipes it soft and low.
I would ply a gentler trade, says he,
But war is all I know.

Steven Pressfield is solidifying his place in my mind as one of the finest writer of historical novels of this generation. In this book Pressfield tackles the most famous subject in all of the ancient world, Alexander the Great. While his earlier books Gates of Fire and Tides of War still had some awkward sections and some inconsistencies, the Virtues of War is polished, mature book where the author has found his true voice.

Pressfield assumes the role of Alexander himself, as he tells the story of his exploits to a young page named Itanes just before the army of Alexander crosses river Indus to conquer India. This alone makes the book fascinating, for Pressfield takes great care to construct the personality of Alexander so that he does not appear as unfathomable as he does to the students of history. Alexander was famous both for his excess (killing many of his best friends with his own hands in blind rage) as well as his magnanimity and generosity. Pressfield takes the view that in order to achieve what Alexander achieved, a man has to be able to commit the noblest and the most evil deeds.

Countless historical novels have been written about Alexander the Great (more recent offerings including Mannfredi’s Alexander trilogy and the entertaining but flawed Dark Prince by David Gemmel) but Pressfield easily surpasses them. His attention to detail is staggering, and utterly captivating: No-one else describes the toil of carrying weapons, the dust of the road, the art of throwing a javelin or what the rivets of the shields of hoplites are made of with the same love and care. His description of the Theban Sacred Band is one of the best I’ve ever read: it is so easy too see them in your mind’s eye after reading Pressfield’s powerful words on them.

It is not only the description of the historical details that Pressfield excels: the camaraderie of the soldiers, coarse phrases used by the rank-and-file Macedonian soldiers and the deep relationship between Alexander and Hephaestion, all the relationships between comrades-in-arms and their enemies are the real meat and drink of the book. Anyone can go to the library and study the conquests of Alexander, but Pressfield makes these names on dusty pages of history books come alive.

It would be very easy to dismiss Pressfield as an author who glorifies war and violence, but I feel nothing is further from the truth. By telling the tale from the point of view of somebody who loves war and conquest allows reader to draw his own conclusions. Nor does Pressfield just heap praise upon Alexander in the book: It is Porus, king of India that acts as a voice of reason in the book and questions the actions of Alexander: what right does he have to assail nations that have never done any harm to him? Has Alexander ever built anything? Has he not simply razed and destroyed everything before him? Porus offers to take Alexander as his son to teach him how to be a king instead of a conqueror. These are the words that Porus uses to admonish Alexander:

“I said you are no king, Alexander, and I repeat it. You do not rule the lands you have conquered. Neither Persia nor Egypt, nor Greece from whence you came, which hates you and would eat you raw if she could. What offices have you established to promote your people’s weal? None! So we shall have war, Alexander. I see you will stand for nothing else. Perhaps you shall win. Perhaps you are invincible, as all the world attests. But though you stand over my dead body and set your heel upon the throat of my realm, you will not be a king.”

In the end the book’s greatest merit is not really its riveting descriptions of the great battles of Chaeronea, Issus and Gaugamela (as brilliant as they are) but the understanding of men facing death in the battlefield and the way in which even the humblest cook of the Macedonian army is brought alive in these pages. It also describes Alexander as a person who you revere and loathe at same time.

NOTE: A great interview with the author can be found here.

Free stuff!!!

Giving away free stuff has been pretty much a success today at work (and I've always wanted to send an email with a subject line of "Free stuff!!!"). Phones, microwave oven, sandwich maker, CD player, shredder, iron, kettle, router, USB hub and the printer were snapped up within minutes of the email going out. But is it really so that 15" CRT monitors are so out that no one wants them, even for free? It's nice enough monitor and it works... but then again I don't want to keep it either so maybe it's not such a big wonder.

Brits also never admit being cold, so our lovely fan heaters were not wanted either - however they saved us several times, especially at the Hockerill Street flat that was just too big and leaky to be heated up with few radiators (great flat otherwise). Our current flat is pretty warm (we've even got double glazing), so we haven't needed the heaters lately, especially since we got the radiator working in the living room and the study... except the bedroom that doesn't have have a radiator of any kind. This is because we live in a Edwardian town house that has been coverted into flats - we occupy the first floor that originally used to have probably two rooms, and has been divided into five (two bedrooms, living room, bath room and a kitchen). Because of some miscarrige of design they didn't put a radiator into the large bedroom when the building was refurbished.

In a way this is a good time to leave as we're starting to experience some probelms to do with the house and the age is probably starting to show. We knew that the plumbing was a bit on the weak side, when last year our beloved upstairs neighbour, the DIY man decided to unblock his drain and poured his bath tub full of acid. I noticed something was wrong when black gooey stuff started dripping from the ceiling that in few minutes turned into a flood. It was fixed, but since then I've been suspicious about the cracks... Last month our downstairs neigbour complained about a leaking ceiling one morning when I was taking a shower, and the same thing happened to us too, this time the DIY man was just in a bath. So obviously there are going to be big issues with the plumbing in the near future.

Idle

I don't really have time for idle days, but after sitting six hours in the car yesterday and the project work finally over I really needed one. (There was a huge traffic jam yesterday on the bridge coming to Portsmouth, it took us over an hour to do the trip that will normally take about 30 seconds... I'm not kidding.) So while Dragon was sleeping I watched couple of episodes of Stargate SG-1 I hadn't had time to watch in past couple of weeks.

Sacrifices was a nice enough Teal'c episode with Jolene Blalock (Enterprise's T'Pol) guest starring for the second time. It's a shame, really - you'd hope that she could do more than one character but unfortunately Ishta is just a version of T'Pol: a bit hot headed but proud and afraid to show her feelings. Still, I kind of like the feminist Jaffa movement plot, and I hope something will come out of it. Endgame should have been a cool episode, and it started out as one, but unfortunately the impact of "millions of people dying" was not felt in any way. Yes, at one point Carter looked a bit worried and unhappy, but generally they all took it pretty well (except ok, maybe Teal'c but he was there). In fact the whole attitude was very un-Stargate, they usually take these things much more seriously - but even O'Neill just shurg it off basically declaring that he'd rather have his friends back than save all those people. Disturbing.

Later on when Dragon woke up we watched some Stargate Atlantis, but these episodes didn't exactly shine with their brilliance either. Home was ok episode for what it was, one of the most used storylines in science fiction: aliens kidnap the heroes and put them into an environment that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike their home. They start suspecting and break out and blah blah. Not bad but not great either. The Storm had much more promise, and even ended with a cliffhanger as it's the end of the summer season. I like the idea of a hurricane that covers fifth of the planet and will wait to see how Major Sheppard will rescue the party from the hands of Genii. Some interesting stuff here, and I have to say that just finding out new things about Atlantis (the city) will carry an episode some way.

Rest of the day, mainly more idling, talking on the phone with Chu... But I also managed to do the only thing I really needed to do today which was making a list of stuff that we want to give away... mostly functioning stuff that has no or very little monetary value like toasters, microwave owens and like.

Silent Hill 4: The Room

Silent Hill is one of my favourite game series of all time, and I picked up Silent Hill 4: The Room with great deal of anxiety. For those unenlightened, Silent Hill is a survival horror game series. While other games of this ilk rely on gory graphics and sudden shocks to scare the player, Silent Hill relies on psychological horror and repulsive yet fascinating stories to draw in the players. Despite the excellent visuals and the overall atmosphere, the previous episode, Silent Hill 3, was a disappointment –the story failed to engage me, and the main character annoyed me so much that I stopped caring whether she lives or dies. Luckily Silent Hill 4 is step to the right direction. It is chilling, disturbing, and genuinely scary.

Silent Hill 4 is quite different from the other games in the series. The development team has made many changes to the staple gameplay elements of the series. Some are good and some are indifferent, and some are downright problematic.
Because of this the problems of the game are not in the story or atmosphere (which are usually far more difficult to attain for a horror game) but with the gameplay.

Firstly, saving the game can be a pain, as you must venture back to your room from the nightmare worlds to do it, and sometimes this is a very long trek indeed. There was nothing wrong with the save mechanism of the earlier episodes, and while returning to your room is essential to the story and the gameplay, the loading times start to frustrate after a while.

While most monsters follow the formula of the previous Silent Hill games, the numerous ghosts in the game are irritating in the extreme. I can accept that I cannot destroy some enemies, but since the ghosts get up almost immediately after you knocked them down, your only option is to run away. This gets tedious after a while, and irritating, though for the story reasons I understand why the ghosts cannot be killed.

The first person view is first for the series and it is used inside your apartment gives the player some nice visuals, but it also breaks the gameplay somewhat. It is not bad by any means but it feels crowbared in.

The game is difficult to the point of frustration at times, and some things are really almost impossible to figure out without resorting to some help from the internet or Strategy Guide. This is not a problem as such, but be advised, play your first game on the Easy setting.

The worst of the new aspects is the change to a limited inventory. While I know this allows game designers to modify the difficult level, it really feels like unwieldy after I’ve gotten used to the unlimited number of items in the earlier parts of the series.

Puzzles, the staple of the Silent Hill games have gone completely, which is a real shame –they really suited the series in my opinion, and gave variety to the gameplay. Some elements still remain, but they are a far cry from the well-constructed brain teasers of previous episodes.

But happily the good points of the game vastly out-weight the bad ones. The story is superb mixture of horror, philosophy and psychology, the best in the series yet. Without giving too much away, the premise of the story is this: Henry Townshend, a young man in his late twenties, finds himself locked inside his own apartment, called room 302, unable to leave by any means save through a mysterious hole in his bathroom that leads into a twisted, nightmarish dimension. Taking the role of Henry, you must try to find your way back to the real world, and your journey takes you into the words of pure evil where you can find answers to the mystery of room 302.

The combat has evolved from the earlier episodes, and it is less clunky and cumbersome, though nowhere near as polished as a pure fighting title. However, the irritating Resident Evil-style control scheme is gone for good, and you can fully configure your gampad, which is a blessing.

As for the all-important fear factor, The Room is not quite as scary as SH 2 but it is nevertheless enough to give you sleepless nights, and it features some truly disturbing visuals and chilling sound and music. The graphic design of the monstrosities that haunt you is of high standard, though some of the more overtly sexual references of earlier episodes have been removed and replaced with more traditional horror elements.

The visuals of the games are stunning, as is the hallmark of the series. The urban decay and twisted locations, corridors infested with monstrosities and the calustrofobic water prison all help to create the all-important feeling of being somewhere else. Unlike previous games in the series The Room is fully 3D, but luckily the transmigration has been very successful. The art team of the Silent Hill series clearly takes a lot of pride in their work, and while the lighting leaves something to be desired, everything else of superb quality.

Overall, this is a fine addition to the king of the survival horror genre, and while not a classic like Silent Hill 2, it is a great game in its own right.

If you are looking to be scared witless and disturbed out of your mind, look no further. If you can put up with the weaknesses in gameplay (which I hope will be addressed in the next instalment) you can experience the best psychological horror story written for a console game, period.

Collectormania

Here we are, in Milton Keynes in Collectormania. Huge amount of celebrities and their fans... Last year Lord of the Rings was the big thing, this year there's not so many of them but Star Wars is the biggest thing with Carrie Fisher headlining. I'm here for my favourites Star Trek and WWE stars - I've met Stacy Keibler and Test, and Walter Koenig and I'm just waiting for my nunber to come up to meet Marina Sirtis. Everyone has been really nice, and I even managed to meet Ian who had just come out of Michael Dorn's queue.

Get a move on

Frell, it's really, actually happening now. We've had a move date set, and I've booked flights to Finland on the next day... and the whole thing is only two weeks away. It's truly starting to hit home now.

(And why is it that one-way flights are so expensive - I got two return flights with a price of one one-way flight... Silly, but not a hugely difficult choice to make.)

Good news and bad news

This deadline at work has been so consuming that this morning it feels... well, not bad of course, but without that focus I suddenly feel that the impending move is an afwul lot closer than it was yesterday. Dragon has been working very hard to make inventories and arrange insurances and all really tedious work that is associated with the move, and I'm only now starting to focus on it.

My brain keeps farting. While checking my bank account today I managed to enter the code wrong again and was locked out again... only this time I managed get my brain to focus for three seconds so I got the security questions right over the phone so this time I didn't have to go to a branch to reset the codes.

I also finally got the estimate for fixing the damage to my car - and it was just below £1000 so that kind of solves the dilemma of whether to get it fixed or not. The whole car (in good condition) would be worth maybe twice that, so according to the rule I heard that says that if the repairs to your car cost more than fifth of it's value when sold, it's financially more sensible to buy a new car - there's no way I'm going to get the car done at this point (even if I had the time).

Oh well. I can't be bothered to be depressed about it now, what's done is done. The other reason (in addition of the project being finished) to my good mood is the fact that I have already been tentatively offered a new job - but more on that when it's confirmed one way or another.