Thursday 2 September, 2004
To go or not...
Well, there you have it.
Never in my life have I been in a situation like this, where I'm so completely out of control of my life (and I am a control freak). This is what you get when you marry a man whose line of business is so narrow - they need to take jobs where the jobs are, not where you want to be. Original plan was to move closer to my job - now we're talking about moving to another country, to the other side of the world.
Nothing is granted of course, and I'd like to stress that nothing has been decided - but that's not where my indecision has been coming from. Because at least now we have an offer, we have something concrete - for the past I don't know how many weeks we've had nothing but vague ideas (well, it might be here, or it might be in Canada, or it might be in some other country). Having an option is something real - now I can start planning and think about this rationally: I can make a list of plusses and minuses and weight different issues against each other.
My biggest issue is of course that I quite like my life right now. I have a good and interesting job with a good salary, I like the company, I love the people. I like our flat, I like Southsea, l like my yoga teachers and classes, I like my car. And we're talking about giving up all of those, and - in a way - not trough my choice. It's not completely true of course that I have no choice - I know that if I asked Dragon to pass this (or any other offer) he would do it for me. We were in the same situation over seven years ago when he was working here and I was still in Finland - yes, he would have come to Finland to be with me but it wouln't have been fair from me to ask him to do that. And in the same way now - if he's going to get an offer that would be really good for his career, I don't feel it would be fair from me to ask him to refuse it - his career is going places while my is just starting up. It's possible for me to find a new job where he is, but for him to make a compromise for me would require a much bigger sacrifice.
So, I feel it's out of my hands. And we're still waiting for some other options to open up, so as I said it's not decided. But meanwhile, I need those vibes, people.
Posted by kolibri at 2 September 09:20, 2004Paljon jaksamista teille! Luotan siihen että teette hyvän päätöksen. Kaikki setviintyy ajan kanssa. Ja Kanadastakin tulee lentokoneita Suomeen, ihan niin kuin Englannistakin ;)
# 2 - Kolibri (on September 2, 2004 03:08 PM):
Kiitos :) Ei niin etten epailisi sita etteiko kaikki mene loppujen lopuksi hyvin - se vaan on se odotus joka tekee musta hermoraunion.
# 3 - Laura (on September 2, 2004 04:08 PM):
Mutta etkös tuolla joskus aikaisemmin jo sanonutkin, että on turha hermoilla asioista joihin ei varsinaisesti voi vaikuttaa? Tiedän kyllä sen tunteen, kun aivot tekevät kamalasti suunnittelutyötä jota ei ole itse tilannut, mutta silloin yritän vain elää päivä kerrallaan, tai tunti kerrallaan. Rentoutuminen on tärkeää. Kun yrittää keskittyä vain siihen että saisi itselleen hyvän ja stressitömän olon, se vie hyvin ajatukset toisaalle. Kun saa edes tunnin tai kaksi päivässä olla ilman stressiä, se helpottaa oloa huomattavasti. Sen eteen pitää vaan joskus nähdä paljonkin vaivaa.
# 4 - Kolibri (on September 2, 2004 04:18 PM):
Se on kaikki totta :) Enpa turhaan sanonut etta mulla on fiksu pikkusisko ;)
# 5 - Rel Fexive (on September 2, 2004 05:55 PM):
Ai-yah! Another serious mover. Or potential mover, anyway.
However it turns out, I'll keep my fingers crossed for the both of you in the hope that it turns out as best as possible for you.
Good Luck! ....or whatever it is you say in these situations...
# 6 - Kolibri (on September 2, 2004 07:10 PM):
Hey... I knew I could count on the TFL people for vibes :) As I said to my sister above - it's not that I don't believe that things will turn out ok, I do, they always do. It's just that I can't stand this waiting period in between :(
And I think good luck is definetly in order.
# 7 - Rel Fexive (on September 2, 2004 11:16 PM):
What can I say: TFL is the home of vibes! We are the VibeMeisters!
Arg... waiting to see how it will turn out sucks muchly.
~~~~ crosses fingers again ~~~~
# 8 - hfb (on September 6, 2004 07:58 PM):
Having been at the top of my career before leaving for Finland only to find myself unemployed for almost 2 years, I'd suggest that you get a job before going, too. It's no fun to watch the guy's career take off while you're starting to wonder if having babies is the only career option you have left.
# 9 - Kolibri (on September 6, 2004 09:07 PM):
Point taken.
It's a tough decision though - finding a job in another country while you're in another is difficult at best, in fact many suggest that best way to find one is to actually be there as many employers will want to see you face to face anyway. The other issue is that if I stayed here, alone, what would be the cut off point if I didn't find a job there? At some point I'd just like to forget everything else and just be with him anyway, no matter what... So for me, my logic dictates that I'm better off with him, come what may. I hope that I'll be able to get another job - from what they tell me, it should be easy. So here's hoping...
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