My sister

My sister has a birthday today, and it got me thinking about my relationship with her. I know a lot of people have really close relationship with their siblings, but we really never used to have that. I know my mother was disappointed that we weren't good friends as children - but it's not always how things work. Yes, we used to play together when there was no other choice, like on family holidays, but at home we always had our separate friends and never hung out. I don't know if we argued any more than siblings normally do - but in many ways where it matters we're very different, but also in many ways we're too similar.

Let me explain. I think as children we both craved for attention, and hated it if the other one got more. She always required more attention as she was allergic and needed special care - I can remember feeling bad about it and for sure I came up with things that got me noticed. I'm sure she used to feel the same when tables were turned. On the other hand we're very different - me very needy and open, she much more closed and independent. I'm like my mother: methodical and scientific - she's like my father: artistic and spontaneous.

But the truth is - I knew her as a child, and I moved from home when I was 19 and she was only 15 (and probably because of that, I still see her as my baby sister, a 15-year old - even now, 11 years later...). So I never got to know her as an adult properly before I moved to England - and now I meet her maybe handful of times a year.

But then again I think it's now better than it's ever been. I think a turning point in our relationship was couple of years ago when she came to visit us in England with her then-boyfriend - and that was probably honestly one of the first times when we'd spent uninterrupted quality time together. It also reminded me of the fact how there was this person who was brought up exactly like me, and came from the same background, who as a kid watched exactly the same things on tv, and listened to exactly the same music than I did. But she was no longer a kid - she'd become intelligent, brave, beautiful and resourceful young woman. Recently while we've been visiting Finland we've actually actively seeked to spend time together which we never used to do - and I've really loved it.

I love her - she is fantastic, and I'm lucky and proud to be her sister.

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