Me, myself and I

My thoughts are all over the place today, difficult to concentrate on anything.

It's like me and my brain are two separate entities (bit like Homer Simpson and his brain) - I'm telling my brain to stop planning because it's not yet the time for that, but my brain blatantly ignores me and plans anyway. It's like telling a teenager to take out the trash - "yeah, yeah, I'll just finnish this one more thing...". I'm trying to distract it with work and the cool things we could do if we bought a Robosapien - but it's not really helping, stubborn thing.

I was thinking today while standing in the queue in the post office how difficult it is to change habits. For me, planning to the degree of obsession is in the core of me, and I find it extremely difficult to stop it, at any time - even when I'm supposed to be relaxing, let alone when I'm stressed. My therapist once said that I should consider it as a strength - and I try to... sometimes I just wonder if the benefits are ever worth the misery it sometimes causes me.

Repo Man

Miller: There ain't no difference between a flying saucer and a time machine. People get so hung up on specifics. They miss out on seeing the whole thing. Take South America for example. In South America thousands of people go missing every year. Nobody knows where they go. They just like disappear. But if you think about it for a minute, you realize something. There had to be a time when there was no people. Right?
Otto: Yeah. I guess.
Miller: Well where did all these people come from? Hmmm? I'll tell you where. The future. Where did all these people disappear to? Hmmm?
Otto: The past?
Miller: That's right and how did they get there?
Otto: How the fuck do I know?
Miller: Flying saucers. Which are really? Yeah you got it. Time machines. I think a lot about this kind of stuff. I do my best thinking on the bus. That how come I don't drive, see?

I remember seeing this movie when I was a kid - my first boyfriend thought it was really funny, but I don't think I quite understood it back then. Funnily enough, I was talking about this movie to Woja just the other week - and then I noticed it was on Sci-fi Channel on Wednesday so I taped it and watched it tonight.

Repo Man is a weird movie, even by 80s standards. It tells a story about a suburban little punk Otto (played by Emilio Estevez) who wounds up being a repo man (as in reposessing cars) after it turns out his parents have donated his college funds to a TV evangelist. The events don't take place in our reality though - this is a paranoid world full of mercenaries, MIBs and warring gangs, and somewhere in the middle of all this there is a certain mysterious 1964 Chevy Malibu that contains some dangerous cargo.

To be honest, this movie is so weird I'm not sure I would have even watched it again without the nostalgia it stirred up. I think I liked it - even though there isn't really much of a plot, and the ending is really... 80s, there are lot of really funny moments and some ingenious ideas. For example, all food is sold in white and blue containers (a bit like Tesco's value range) with only the name of the food on it - like "corn flakes", "beer" or just "drink" or "food". Otto is a punk, but he's got a good heart, UFO conspiracy theorist Miller is just weird and the MIBs - who are all blond, and lead by a woman with a steel hand - are just absurd.

Recommended watching time: after midnight, preferably with your sci-fi nerd friends. Guaranteed enjoyment.

Clean

It's this year's last bank holiday Monday here, but I've been keeping very busy. Plan A for today included going to see Riddick, but in the end of the day I just had far too much to do. I've done some work - we're starting to approach the dreaded deadline now so the pressure is on - and I've also been cleaning the flat. Not just gentle little arranging things like we normally do, but fundamental making-a-difference kind of cleaning, throwing away awful lot of junk, shredding documents not needed, and coming up with places to put things that didn't have places before.

I always say that it's very important to have friends visit you now and again as it gives you a real reason for cleaning up properly - but I think I've outdone myself this time. It's still couple of weeks before Henri is coming - but since things are starting to heat up at work I recon I need to use all the time I have constructively.

Homage

McKay: No, no, no - he just doesn't like going trough the Stargate!
Shepard: It's worst than Dr. McCoy!
Tayla: Who?
Shepard: The TV character that Dr. Becket plays in real life...
Becket: Converting a human body into energy and sending them million light years trough a wormhole is insanity!

I just love it when Stargate characters talk about Star Trek... One of my other favourite moments was when O'Neill wanted to call the first real spaceship Tauri built Enterprise... Left as homework is to figure out what I've been doing today.

My sister

My sister has a birthday today, and it got me thinking about my relationship with her. I know a lot of people have really close relationship with their siblings, but we really never used to have that. I know my mother was disappointed that we weren't good friends as children - but it's not always how things work. Yes, we used to play together when there was no other choice, like on family holidays, but at home we always had our separate friends and never hung out. I don't know if we argued any more than siblings normally do - but in many ways where it matters we're very different, but also in many ways we're too similar.

Let me explain. I think as children we both craved for attention, and hated it if the other one got more. She always required more attention as she was allergic and needed special care - I can remember feeling bad about it and for sure I came up with things that got me noticed. I'm sure she used to feel the same when tables were turned. On the other hand we're very different - me very needy and open, she much more closed and independent. I'm like my mother: methodical and scientific - she's like my father: artistic and spontaneous.

But the truth is - I knew her as a child, and I moved from home when I was 19 and she was only 15 (and probably because of that, I still see her as my baby sister, a 15-year old - even now, 11 years later...). So I never got to know her as an adult properly before I moved to England - and now I meet her maybe handful of times a year.

But then again I think it's now better than it's ever been. I think a turning point in our relationship was couple of years ago when she came to visit us in England with her then-boyfriend - and that was probably honestly one of the first times when we'd spent uninterrupted quality time together. It also reminded me of the fact how there was this person who was brought up exactly like me, and came from the same background, who as a kid watched exactly the same things on tv, and listened to exactly the same music than I did. But she was no longer a kid - she'd become intelligent, brave, beautiful and resourceful young woman. Recently while we've been visiting Finland we've actually actively seeked to spend time together which we never used to do - and I've really loved it.

I love her - she is fantastic, and I'm lucky and proud to be her sister.

Peacekeeper Wars

Ok, fine, I give in. Normally, with the TV series or movies I care about, I never ever read spoilers. In fact, I go to enormous lengths to avoid them. So... now I've been aware of the Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars trailer for several days now but since I was told that it contained some spoilers I've tried to ignore it and I haven't actually watched it... until two minutes ago.

Potential spoilers, indeed... there is especially that one second long glimpse in the trailer that raised the hairs on my neck, at the same time I'm horrified and shocked and pleased and exited (otherwise the trailer is pretty standard staff - no other major spoilers that you wouldn't guess from the title of the series - except Sikozu looks cool and I've so missed Scorpius). Just... go and watch it. Take my word on it. Looks like Farscape writers and the whole team are about to excel themselves again... now let's just all cross our fingers and toes and all things that possibly can be crossed to hope that this miniseries is such a success they (mainly Sci-fi Channel) just have to comission another season.

On a related note, Jim Henson Co has acknowledged the role all the Farscape fans and especially the wonderful people at SaveFarscape.com have done, and they've donated six autographed props used on the set of The Peacekeeper Wars to the fans of Farscape as a thank you for their tireless efforts. Henson people rock.

Mental practice

Because of the trip and being ill last week, I've missed altogether two weeks of ashtanga, and boy did I feel it last night. In addition to the room being chilled when we started (so had a good stretch beforehand), I felt weak and stiff pretty much all the way trough. I was also worried that my recent anxiety might mean I wouldn't be able to concentrate properly, but I just took Karen's advice to heart - "Let your breathing become your mantra" - and tried to concentrate on my breathing every time I noticed my thoughts wondering.

So despite the poor(er) physical practice, it was mentally a good one - something I really really needed. I'm really glad I went - I find that at times like this I feel like skipping all "mandatory" arrangements and just state "tiredness" as a reason claiming to myself that I need some rest... I almost didn't go yesterday. I've learned though that in truth this is almost never a good idea - exercise, but especially yoga, helps to calm the body and the mind.

I would have even gone to bed early, hadn't they shown the Olympic weightlifting on the telly. After talking about doping yesterday, I believe that Iranian Hossein Rezazadeh - in addition to being a wonderful character - is one of those people that really deserved to win.

More whining

I was looking at the Olympic medal tables the other day and it's a huge shame that the first things that come to mind are "I bet Americans don't get caught because they've got the best doctors and drugs money can buy" and "I wonder how many medals the Chinese lose when the test results come in". I'm not a huge follower of the games (or any sports not involving soap opera elements), but I think this is not in the spirit intended.

It's not all bad.

My mom called me last night after having read yesterday's entry to have a mother-daughter chat. I don't think she could tell me anything I didn't know already, and she knew it too - but at least I got to vent a bit, and although it didn't seem to make a difference at a time, I do feel a bit better today. It's at times like these I really miss my friends - and at the same time I'm kind of glad they're not here as I most likely couldn't do more than whine misearably (as Woja can testify).

Deep breaths.

Unhappy

I think I'm still a bit jet-lagged. Yesterday while driving home I almost fell asleep at the wheel, which is a very scary feeling - then at home I just had to take a little nap although Dragon woke me up soon enough.

Got invited to a party which I'd very much like to attend but can't for various reasons, none of them nice. Lot of stuff in the air, lot of questions and decisions and no answers. Sometimes I think it's possible to die from indecision.

(I speak in riddles and I apologize for that. I'd write about something else if there was something else on my mind - but as is I can do nothing else than ponder on these issues I can do nothing about, and it's driving me up the walls.)

Older and wiser

So, back at work today.

It feels a bit unreal like it often does after the holidays - but especially so after a trip like this. It's been ages since I've been someplace where I haven't been before: we're so used to taking our holidays in Finland that I hadn't even realised it. It was almost like going to some fantasy world - everything was different and I got to do and see things I've never done and seen before. I was trying to explain myself to Chu before she went home: normally I like things best when they're over - it's difficult to explain but I often enjoy memories more than actually doing the thing. But this trip - and I didn't even notice it before she pointed it out to me - it was opposite: I enjoyed everything so much I was actually sad when it was over. It was also not just a trip, but a full 12 month project since the decision to go, to the planning and arranging everything and then actually going - and projects need closure too.

I think as a teen I would have probably had a huge hangover for days about it, now it's just a shrug and move on. Teenage feelings were another thing we had long discussions about - I can vividly remember how all the emotions were constantly on overload and how everything was done with the heart. To be honest, I don't miss any of it. I'm still perfectly capable of feeling grand emotions, it's just that I'm able to control them somewhat now. Good emotions like deep love for my people age well - and they don't need to be controlled. But bad feelings like sadness or even anxiety I can now control - feel them, yes, but also get over them.

It may sound trivial, but for me it's been far from it. When I was younger I really had my heart on a sleeve and I'm not certain I had brains at all. I did some stupid things and hurt people with my actions - some of them I've been able to repair, some of them not. Bit in the end of the day I'm here now as the person I am because of those actions, and I'd like to think I've learned from them and wouldn't do them again. I think somehow as a kid I thought I would grow up or be an adult a lot sooner, in fact I probably thought couple of years ago that I was grown up.

Isn't it ironic that a month ago I was complaining about getting old, and now I'm relishing the fact. Maybe that's a sign of getting old too.

Holiday over

End of another holiday. To try your patience I've put up some selected photos up of the trip. And in case you haven't noticed, I've also now completed all the entries of the days I was out of touch together with some appropriate photos of the events.

Still lazy

Nuff said.

Another lazy day on the sofa watching DVDs, but at least the cold seems to be gone now. We also managed to catch the episode of Smackdown we saw being taped on Tuesday - kind of last remains of our holiday. Somehow it feels a bit sad.

It feels weird that I have to be back at work on Monday.

Lazy and ill

We managed to get ourselves ill sometime during the trip. I think Chu got it first in the car with the air conditioning - I just kept cranking it up as it didn't seem to have much effect, and at the same time it was aimed at poor Chu in the back seat. I think I got ill in the plane after sharing my personal space with her - the end result has been a very lazy day loitering on the sofa, sneezing, drinking tea and watching DVDs.

It's a good think we don't need to do anything else.

Back

Home.

Short story: fantastic trip. Long story: I'll try to fill up the entries in the next couple of days as net access was restricted.

Traveling is boring

Travelling is boring, but at least it worked out better going out than coming in to Canada - all the more proof that Canadians have a clue while Americans don't. We managed to get our flights to Philly to put be put forward with couple of hours just to make sure we'd have enough time to change - but Canadians had arranged the whole thing so smartly we did the immigration and customs in Toronto and in Philadephia we just walked to the right terminal, we didn't even have to go trough security checks. So then we waited again, tired and a bit hysterical - reaading magazines and books, eating and telling stupid jokes.

Hamilton, never again

Hamilton proved to be the exception to the Canada-is-fab rule. The whole city - and our hotel was in the centre of the city - was rundown, dirty and a bit scary. Our hotel was almost total fiasco - literally the only thing that worked was the internet booking. And ok, we had two beds in our room which was clean - but that was about it. None of the things advertised by the hotel were there - no restaurants, no room service, no gym, no pool, no breakfast, nothing. Nada. Zilch. Funnily enough the service guide in the room stated that the hotel attempted to provide us with the service that we deserve - so maybe it tells more about us than them. As far as we could see there was one person working there at any one time, another one at the parking lot, and yes, they both did the same jobs as the really nice guy that helped me to park my car in the evening was behind the counter to check us out on Wednesday.

After we'd gotten to the hotel and found out that neither the restaurants or room service was available, Dragon offered to go out and scout the situation and bring us some food. After food we walked couple of blocks to the Copps Colliseum where our evening's entertainment Smackdown, waited for us. We got into another queue and waited, again, as everything in Hamilton seemed to either not work or work poorly. We had good seats on the seventh row again behind Cole and Tazz, and both of my signs made it to telly.

The crowd was worst of the lot though. They seemed a bit new to the whole thing and although there were generally very enthusiastic, there were some real idiots in our section, and rest of them seemed to lack direction. Also the taping wasn't nearly as well organised as the RAW taping - at RAW the announcers kept the crowd up-to-date on what was going to happen at any one time, whereas at Smackdown things just happened and the crowd was left wondering what was going to happen next. To top all that one of our favourite wrestlers, Eddie Guerrero, got into a heated argument with couple of idiots in the first row which totally ruined his mood (rightly or most likely wrongly), and it unfortunately reflected on his performance and he wasn't his typical joking happy self.

The fact that the evening wasn't a total success was probably a combination of different things - the previous night had been such a huge experience that nothing was going to top that, we were pretty tired and had a long day, Hamilton sucked and the hotel was a disappointment, there were idiots in the crowd (who just don't realise that they are not going to make it to the telly, they're just ruining other people's mood with their stupid jokes), organisation of the event was bad, and the episode we saw was a mediocre one. I wouldn't say it was a bad event - it was a cool experience nonetheless - but definetly the weakest one of the three we saw.

That's a lot of water

One of my childhood dreams came true today when we visited the Niagara falls. It was weird - we parked the car on Clifton Hill which is about two kilometers from the big Horseshoe Falls, and walked to the park that offers beautiful views of the both falls (that's where the panorama photo is taken - on the left are the American Falls and on the right the Horseshoe Falls). We entered the park in front of the Amercan Falls (which are, incidentally, in America) and had a view from there to the bigger falls - and the first thing I thought was: it's not that big, is it. But after walking the whole mile or so to see the Horseshoe Falls up close (which is on the Canadian side), it became slowly bigger and bigger until you realise that, holy crap, it's truly one of the biggest and most impressive things you've ever seen.

The Horseshoe Falls are 54 meters tall, and curently about 100 000 cubic feet of water per second goes over the top every moment. This is actually only about half of the amount of water that would naturally flow here, and when you're standing right next to the edge looking at the rushing water the thought of twice as much water going by is truly scary. We wanted to see the falls up even closer by taking an elevator down, but unfortunately the next free slots in the elevator were several hours away so we were contented with just admiring it from afar. Very impressive, indeed.

To get to our next intended destination, we decided to take a long ride along what the travel guide called the most scenic route in the country and drive up the Niagara river towards the Lake Ontario and visit a littel town on the mouth of the river called Niagara-on-the-Lake. And the route was absolutely charming, we drove along the peaceful road lined up with wineyeards, parkland and beautiful houses - and Niagara-on-the-Lake itself was just as charming, and really defining the word idyllic. They had a Peach Festival going on (lot of orchards sold peaches on the roadside) and the town was buzzing with exitement in a very enchanting way.

Unfortunately the enchantment didn't last, and we had to continue our last leg of the journey to an industrial city called Hamilton.

London, Ontario

On Monday we checked out of your lovely hotel and took a taxi to pick up our rental car. And nice car it was too - this year's silver Ford Mustang GT - a bit small for the three of us and our luggage, but what it lacked in space it most definetly gained in style. Only "setback" was that it was of course automatic, and I'm used to a manual car - but once I got the hang of the fact that my left leg was supposed to take a holiday it got pretty easy.

So we headed out of Toronto - which was no small deal as most of Toronto streets appear to be one way streets, and plotting a course out wasn't trivial - but we managed and headed towards a city called London about two hours' drive from Toronto. Canadian motorways can be pretty scary - I think the most lanes I've ever seen on a motorway has been about four so far, and some of the Canadian ones double that, no problem. They also don't obey the assumed rule of being able to take the inner lane for staying on the motorway - they just veered out so you had to stay in guard all the time. Also getting out of the motorway for service stations turned out to be too difficult - or rather getting back to the motorway: more than once the road that lead to the service station was poorly marked and one way - so getting back was just overly complicated.

However, after some minor adventures we found our way to London. Our hotel was a weird building - an old armory with walls and all, and a glass skycraper built in the middle of it. Service was so friendly, probably the best during the whole trip. We ate, and headed for another queue - this time it was the John Labatt Centre and Monday Night RAW.

It's almost a shame to admit, but RAW was maybe even bigger experience to us than SummerSlam. Audience was a lot smaller (maybe around 5000 people), but they were a lot nicer - and somehow, seeing that setting that we've been watching in telly for years was really awsome. Still, it might have not been the highlight of the trip hadn't it been for some dramatic events taking place in the storyline - mainly seeing the most powerful faction in RAW, Evolution, gang up on Randy Orton. A memorable experience indeed. It was also really funny walking back to the hotel and then opening the tv - only to see the same event being shown there on repeat... our seats were a bit high up on tier, but we managed to spot ourselves couple of times.

SummerSlam

Oh wow.

Our first PPV event ever, and we were on row two behind Michael Cole and Tazz. There are reports about the event all over the net, and it will be on DVD in couple of months time so I won't waste you time telling you about the matches. I say this much though: it was a huge experience, and the crowd in Toronto is unlike anywhere else in the world. Pro wrestling is a battle between good and evil, and all wrestlers potray either a good guy (called babyface or just a face) or a bad guy (called heel), and you're supposed to cheer for the good guy and boo for the bad guy. Not in Toronto. Torontonians cheer for the guys they like, even if they are heels, and boo for the guys they don't like, even if they are faces - in any audience there are always people who do that anyway, but nowhere else does the whole crowd have such different opinions.

But also, being there such close to the action and seeing everything happening right in front of you - it was something else. The whole event took over three hours but it just seemed like couple of blinks and it was over. As we had ringside seats we got to take our souvenier chairs with us - sturdy nice folding chairs with the SummerSlam poster on them. I'm stubborn - I paid for my ticket and for my chair so I wanted to bring it with me home, even though I knew it might be logistically difficult - but Chu though it too much work and gave her chair to a girl she had met on the previous day and who'd had a really lousy evening (she'd hurt her foot and couldn't stand up or walk properly and some idiot kicked her by accident).

Brunch

Today it was time for the SummerSlam brunch at Toronto's Planet Hollywood. This was the only event organised by someone else than WWE and the arrangements sucked accordingly - queuing was badly organised and people were skipping the queue, using elbows and generally being angry and frustrated. We'd never been to events like this before so we didn't know quite what to expect - it turned out to be a brunch with a decent menu plus signings with Rhyno, Eric Bishoff and Torrie Wilson. Because of the delays in queueing the staff had to compensate and hurry people on - so unfortunately we didn't have time to chat with the stars.

I managed however steal a hug from Rhyno (very simple - just ask! He said that he didn't hug a lot of girls but was willing to make an exception which was very nice of him, the big tease) - he was cute as a button and wonderfully soft and cuddly. Eric Bishoff was very funny too - we was very polite towards me but flirted unabashedly with Chu. And Torrie - it was really weird as I had thought about saying lot of things to her as she really has been my favourite diva from the beginning, and an inspiration on starting exercising, but instead I went all weak and giggly and felt like 10 year old fan girl. Torrie was awfully nice about it all - she shook my hand and thanked me - she was so nice and unbelievably beautiful in person, much more so than on the telly.

We had planned to go to see then CN Tower after the brunch - but we were really just too tired and hurt from the suburns and went back to the hotel. Me and Chu took a long nap while Dragon took a shot nap and went to the gym.

Ontario Place

Had a wonderful day today.

We got to breakfast bright and early, and I had Eggs Benedict for breakfast which was very nice (it's a silly thing but worth mentioning - this is something they always have in American movies and TV series and I've always wanted to try it). After that we checked out of our hotel and walked couple of blocks to our new hotel WWE had booked for us for two nights. The hotel was Sheraton Centre Toronto and it's probably the biggest and fanciest hotel I've ever stayed at. The weather man was promising rain all day so we just quickly changed into something light (as it was still quite warm) and took a taxi to Ontario Place where our day's entertainment was provided.

Ontario Place is an amusement park, mainly based around different water rides with restaurants and world's first IMAX theather (which we didn't have time to visit, unfortunately). We were there however to see some our favourite WWE superstars as they had a SummerSlam Day there with Q & A sessions with the stars, autograph signings and all sort of wacky and wonderful fun. By the time we got to the park it was starting to be clear that the weather man was totally wrong, and that instead of raining, the clouds just all disappeared. On the good side, the weather was absolutely brilliant, but on the minus side we had left sun tan lotions at the hotel. It didn't seem to be a problem at first - we were having tons of fun and yes, it was warm, but we were loving it.

After the first Q & A and first queues for autographs had passed I started worrying about it a bit - but then again I consider myself to be the tanning type so I wasn't overly worried. After the second Q & A and even more queues Dragon and Chu started looking a bit pink but I still thought I was ok. But after we'd watched the first Cool Hoops challenge we decided to have a break in the shadow and asses the damage - I went to the bathroom and checked on myself only to find that I had a very silly panda look (skin white underneath the sunglasses and all pink on nose and cheeks) and my arms were bright red too. Tanning type, bollocks.

Still - all the queuing was worth it when I got to meet my favourite female wrestler, Victoria. She is one of those very inspiring people who got and still keep me motivated for taking care of my body. She's got this most amazing athletic and yet femine look about her, and I would swap bodies with her in a blink. But she was also a wonderful person - although officially we weren't allowed to take photos she posed for all the fans that asked for it and talked with everyone who came.

But as we're the silly fangirls we are, Chu and I insisted on seeing the second Cool Hoops challenge and Fozzy play live - at this point Dragon wisely headed for the hotel and the gym and we stayed for couple of more hours. After Fozzy we took the taxi back to the hotel and spent some time in the pool with the cool soothing water and then some room service - unfortunately by this time all the damage to our skin was done and we were indeed looking like Lobsters United.

Really, it wouldn't have pissed me off that much if it hadn't been for the fact that we did have sun tanning lotion - we just deliberately chose to leave it in the hotel. Stupid gets what stupid deserves, indeed. Last time we believed the weather man on this trip too.

We also found out the answer to our coverter question. The question was - will the devices work, and the answer was, it depends on the device. My Nokia phone refused to charge - it recognised that it was being charged, and then just said "not charging" as it recognised the wrong current. However, Chu's Siemens phone accepted the wrong current without any problems and charged happily overnight. Both of our chargers said they would only take 230 V current - but it would seem that Nokia has built in some prevention mechanisms, maybe to prevent possible damage although that shouldn't happen on current changes from bigger to smaller. We had kind of assumed/hoped that this wouldn't be a problem - if it was, surely airports would sell voltage converters (was our thought). As Carlos pointed out in the comments, we knew adapter might not be enough but hey - now we know. Good news was the the Ontario Place was really the only place we needed phones when we spent time in different places and needed to find each other again - but my phone running out of battery was the reason I wasn't doing any blogging.

Toronto, finally

We're finally in our hotel room in downtown Toronto.

I can say this much - I hate America and American bureaucracy. I really don't understand how they honestly think all these security checks are going to make a differece - it's just annoying people and what comes to us I know in the future we'll just avoid going to US if at all possible. Whereas Canada and Canadians - I love it here. Customs and immigration was reasonable, both questions and queue-wise. People are very friendly, it's modern and everything works and it's pretty.

Bed awaits, more action tomorrow.

I'd rather be in Toronto

...as we're not. We got stuck in immigration in the City of Brotherly Love and missed our connecting flight. On the plus side every one is very friendly, but on the minus side we're stuck here for the next five hours and won't get to Toronto until just before midnight. It seems that the policy here is that they'd rather book us on to a new flight instead of giving people with connecting flights priority in the immigration queue. On the other hand I have a feeling we would have missed the flight anyway as we also got stuck in security checks later on - they were singling out foreigners and blacks and did charming full body and luggage searches on us.

Tomorrow we're planning to be on a breakfast table by eight. This is going to be one tough trip.

Leaving

We're now at Gatwick and we've checked in, everything has gone pretty smoothly. Dragon is just confirming our travel insurance and then we're off. I'll be blogging when I have a chance, but more detailed reports follow when we return.

Sign language

Today: pampering and frantic preparations for tomorrow's trip.

Evening has been spent making signs. This is how you do it...

Little gray cells. Come up with a witty idea that means something to you.

Plan. I had a miniature note paper that was cut into same dimensions as the bigger sign. Plan the layout and colours you're going to use.

Practice. I used a pencil to sketch out the words to make sure they would still look good in the intended size. At this point make sure someone proof reads the signs - after the next step it's too late and you've embarrased yourself in front of millions of people in over 50 countries.

Oulines. Draw the outlines of the letters in the corresponding colour...

...and colour in. Just like when you were a kid.

My hand hurts now and the bed is calling.

Converters

Well, today's issue has been electric currents. As we're starting to pack, Chu pointed out that we should check what current Canada uses - and turns out that they indeed use 110-120V instead of our 230-240V. The next question was if we needed to buy a voltage converter, or would or devices (mainly chargers) work.

Asking this from the boys at work produced lot of educated guesses - that basically only thing I'd need was an adaptor, and the devices might just work a bit slower. This was all nice and well - but engineers love to come up with theories so I wasn't convinced that it would actually work until Andy who had actually been to the States recently confirmed this. Believe it or not, finding out all this and trying to figure out if it was still worth getting a converter took several hours.

Result - we're not getting a converter, even if charging a phone takes a bit longer we should still be ok. What a bother.

Iron Council, more thoughts

I'm still digesting Iron Council - in fact so much so that I got into a heated argument with Henri about "good" and "important" books, and as result I ordered Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game and Speaker for the Dead (that I haven't read) and he recommended to me as both important and good, and he promised to go and buy Perdido Street Station which in my opinion is good and important (yes, there's a difference).

I've also been reading other people's opinions about Iron Council - but I almost wish I haven't: to be perfectly honest I've always hated hearing criticism about things I love. There's a mixed reaction to this book from Miéville's hardcore fans - some love it, but to my utter surprise some hate it. Yes, it is a bit slow to start up - but there's a purpose to that and the background story it tells, and the end's events wouldn't mean much without it. Some people complain about the fact that there are over ten central characters to this story (instead of one like in Miéville's other books) - but again that didn't bother me. In a very Miéville-like fashion there are many plots going on that form the main story, and we follow different people that are involved in different sides of the story. Still, I think he manages to make the characters multidimensional (although - true enough - none of them are as good as Isaac Dan der Grimnebulin), and the desperate love story in the book is a good lesson to any writer on how to write bi- and homosexual characters to be just like any other people.

In fact, he says it so well in his essay On World Building (which is an excellent read too):

And once you've invented your race, remember that race, culture and character are three very different things. Few things in fantasy annoy me more than having a particular race act as a signifier for a particular kind of character. Why are elves all clever and fey? Are there any dwarfs out there who aren't gruff and good with their hands? And what happens if you're an orc but you're not, you know, evil?

That's one of the reasons his characters work so well - they are all foremost people, and only then members of the race or culture - or indeed sexuality. The same feelings of love and passion and jealousy are still there, and motives for good and bad intentions and money still apply.

Hidden Dragon

In case someone was wondering, I'm not dead yet, I assure you. There is just currently some important stuff going on with my life that requires all my attention and energy, leaving little ammo for a blog. More on this later as soon as I know more myself.

One thing is certain though -I shall return soon.

Iron Council by China Miéville

Rudewood teemed. Birds and ape-things in the canopy spent the morning screaming. In a zone of dead, bleached trees, an ursine thing, unclear and engorged with changing shapes and colours, reeled out of the brush toward them. They screamed, except Pomeroy who fired into the creature's chest. With a soft explosion it burst into scores of birds and hundreds of bottleglass flies, which cricled them in the air and recongealed beoyond them as a beast. It suffled from them. Now they could see the feathers and wing cases that made up it's pelt.

"I've been in the woods before," said Pomeroy. "I know what a throng-bear looks like."

I let the man speak for himself. China Miéville has maybe the most imaginative and amazing mind of any writer whose works I've ever read, and by goddess when I said I was expecting to be blown away I suffered no disappointment. I thought my book of the year would probably be Altered Carbon or Broken Angels, but Iron Council has blown them both out of the water, hands down.

I was told that the best way to read this book is to know nothing about it, not even as much as the back cover says, so that's how I went in, and I'm not going to spoil it to you by telling anything anything about the plot. The only thing I knew was that it would take place in New Crobuzon after about 30 years after the events of Perdido Street Station, and to be honest that was all I needed to wet my apetite. I liked The Scar - but I think Miéville is at his best when describing cities, cities like London or New Crobuzon which is London to the power of n. And does he do that, Godspit, does he ever.

A succession. The loud sound of fiddles. Wealthy men slumming it with downtown whores fell out of the doors of drinkhalls, walking oblivious past tsotsis who eyed them and fingered ill-concealed weapons. Up now toward a militia tower, the thrum of the skyrails as a lit pod passed over. Crowding under slowworms of lit glass spelling names and services, simple animations - a red mouthed lady drawn with the light, replaced stutteringly with another who raised her glass, and back again in autistic illuminanant recursion. Narcotics on the corners sold in twists by macerated youths, militia in aggressive cabals, their mirrors sending the light back around the street. Anger, drunk and stupid fights, and serious fights, too.

Not only does Miéville has an imagination out of this world, he's also the best example I can give of the school of "show, don't tell" - for example here:

"You ain't the only one with your ear to the ground, who knows what he is. But listen, we ain't got time: it ain't just him who's being followed. This lot were after your man - they don't know any more than we do already - and there's others are after you. Been tracking you since Rudewood. And they're gaining. And they ain't just militia, either."

"What? What's coming?" And what Cutter heard he repeated in terror.

"Handlingers," he said.

Here we hear first time of creatures called handlingers but it's only 300 odd pages later that we actually learn what handlingers really are. Same with everything else - you're explained just what is necessary to understand what's happening at the very moment, but what it all means might only be revealed much later. But although rewarding, this is also a very difficult book in more than one aspect. First of all, Miéville uses quite complicated peculiar language - I'm no novice in English, or even fantasy or sci-fi, but I had to look up several words during this book. I can't even remember when's the last time I've done that even once, and with this book I did it daily. I mean non-native speakers, honestly can you tell what throng or susurration mean? (And those are some of the more common words.)

But the language wasn't what made this book difficult. It was the plot and the athmosphere - "kick him when he's down" or "lyö lyötyä" was definetly the theme where things keep endlesly going from bad to worse, until you think it can't get any worse, and it does. I cried twice while reading this book, and after havining finished I was emotionally empty and drawn out. So much so that once I got home I needed to get this entry from my chest before doing anything more pressing. It's one of those rare books where I wanted to actually skip to the end and check what was going to happen as I just couldn't take the emotianal pressure (suffice to say I didn't do it... that would be just plain wrong). But what was in the end - even in my wildest dreams would I have been able to get even close to what actually happened.

It's possible - although I'd have to read the other book again (hint to Quitu if you're reading this) - that Iron Council is even better than than Perdido Street Station... and that's not a praise I give lightly as Perdido Street is one of my all time favourite books. I need to digest this book for a while now and maybe read it again - I think there are parts of this book that don't open up first time. For Jabber's sake, this book is a must read.

Battery trouble

When I was trying out Munch's Odyssey that I had picked up from the bargain basement on Saturday, the light on my new GameBoy Advance SP went red indicating that the battery needed changing. As this was the first time I'd needed to do this, I wasn't sure what kind of batteries it used - so I closed the device and turned it over. To my shock, there was no battery cover - except the one that needed a special screwdriver to open so I reconed that wasn't going to be it. After a brief check it turned out that GameBoy Advance SP was indeed unlike GameBoy Advance and it didn't take normal batteries but had in fact a rechargeable lithum battery. That could be recharged using the charger that I had left in the box the GameBoy came in, that was too big and what-was-the-point-anyway to fit into the suitcase.

So the charger is back in Finland. Fortunately Chu is flying from Finland tomorrow, so called her, and I called my mom and tried to get some kind of meeting arranged between them to get the charger to Chu so she could get it to me. Of course both parties are on holiday and doing their own things - Chu in Linnanmäki and my family going to Hämeenlinna to see my grandfather in hospital (who got out but had to be readmitted, and the cause for the fever is still unclear)... but I'm just hoping they manage to meet at some point. Plan B is to buy another charger but, really, that would be really annoying.

Note to self: next time you buy a new gadget, read the manual.

Keep your eye on the frisball!

Despite the fact that I still have quite a few things I need to sort out before Chu arrives, I headed to London this morning to the traditional annual TFL Party in the Park. Last year it fell on my birthday so I didn't go, but this year I managed to fit it in. And I'm really glad that I did - all the hours sweating in the train and the tube were rewarded by good company, food, frisbee and frisball.

It's funny - these are people I've "known" for years trough originally sharing a common passion for Farscape, but as many things TFL has actually evolved to something completely different. At first when you meet eye-to-eye, the real life communication is a bit difficult - but after a while people are chatting and talking like old friends. We played a bit of frisbee and managed to scare all the other people away from the war memorial we were based at by not throwing the frisbee very well or making many catches - after they left I'm sure our game improved, but I still wouldn't recommend quiting our day jobs guys! Frisbee then evolved to a game of frisball - a strange game where a ball and a frisbee are both in play at the same time. The ball was a hard baseball so it was mainly thrown between people with gloves or who were otherwise either very skilled (Ian) or just mental (TeeKay). The trick is to keep you eyes on both the ball and the frisbee as either one can be thrown at you at any time.

I also got to test my new camera at action, literally - as I wanted to see how fast it was with action shots so I tried to photograph the frisbee on air. Nine times out of ten I managed to do that so I'm pretty happy - I've put the best photos of the afternoon up on my site in case anyone is interested in seeing the quality my new baby can do.

On the way back home the train broke down and I had to change the train, but it's so normal it's almost not worth mentioning. Excellent day, anyway.

Good practice

I got a text from Chu just before my class saying that we finally got the last tickets confirmed to go to a brunch while in Toronto next Sunday - we've been trying to get this booked and confirmed for months now. Maybe it was that bit of good news that I needed - because last nights' ashtanga practice was the best one in ages. I was mentally and physically alert and concentrated on the practice, something that hasn't been coming lately. Another first was Prasarita Padottanasana A where I finally got my head to the floor - we've been doing this with Pat in Iyengar using blocks and I think it was there when I realised the secret of this pose. It's not just about flexibility of being able to bend, but also about having the courage to tip forward, and about strength in you legs to keep you upright so you don't tip over.

After the class I was feeling perfectly peaceful, happy and relaxed, for the first time in days.

Someplace warm

In addition to the envious faces in the office when my new camera arrived today, I had the following conversation with Bill:

Bill: Where are you going on holiday this time?
Me: Canada!
Bill: Do you ever go on holiday someplace warm?

I'd just like to state that not only is Finland a nice and warm place in the summer, weather-man is also predicting temperatures in high twenties for next week in Toronto.

Upside down

Despite still feeling a bit under the weather, I decided to go to my Iyengar yoga class last night, and I think it was the right decision. It was a smaller class this time, but we took it easy and did some nice asanas we don't do that often, and I got to do Salamba Sirsasana (supported headstand) which is a really nice asana I'd like to do more often. I did it first with Pat supporting me and making sure I didn't fall over, and then without her support just next to a wall. This is one of those asanas where my "flexible back" (as Pat nicely calls it - I'd call it concave or hollow) is not as it should be - I'm still trying to "tuck the tailbone under", but it's very difficult when you're upside down. Definitely more practice needed, but I'm looking forward to it.

Yoga actually got my appetite back, which was nice - but after I'd eaten my stomach aches returned and for a while I was feeling really awful. I talked to Dragon about this and he said that it could well be psychosomatic - I'm feeling a bit anxious about the trip and then there is the extra stress about everything else that's happening. When he said it I just dismissed it, but thinking about it a bit more, it makes more sense than having some viral infection. Surely virus would produce consistent symptoms whereas mine just come and go randomly. The thought makes me feel a bit better as I've been slightly afraid of becoming really ill just before the trip I really really want to go on - if it's inside my head I have techniques to deal with it.

Waiting

I haven't been feeling quite well for the past couple of days. It started with sharp stomach aches that came and went, and yesterday I suffered from cold-like muscle aches without any other symptoms of cold and I had to leave work early and skip ashtanga. Today I'm still having some stomach aches, and I feel strange - but I don't really feel ill enough to stay home or go to the doctors. A collegue suggested that it might be a virus, but the only thing I can think of is that if I need to be ill I'm just so glad it's now and not a week from now (and in case you haven't figured it out, the Toronto trip happens next week). Just trying to drink a lot and eat a bit - but I've been a bit off my food too.

Work is more than boring at the moment because we don't have anything to do - waiting for things to finish so we can get our hands on them... so I've been mainly fidling my thumbs. It's amazing how tiring waiting can be. And while on the subject of waiting, Amazon has finally decided to send me my camera. With a bit of luck I'll get it tomorrow.

This all seems a bit hollow and I wish I could write more about things that are really topmost in my mind, but unfortunately due to matters that are not down to me I can't say anything more meaningful. Once it's all sorted I hope I can tell you more.

Mad World

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had

I talked about this with Mikki when he was visiting us earlier this year, and I said that I had never had any dreams in which I die. Until last night. This was in a second part of the dream (and I can't remember the first part but it was somehow connected) and I was in a bus taking care of three orphaned baby gorillas. There was a member of my team that was very angry at me, and I knew that the moment I would step out of the bus he would shoot me. I knew for certain that I was going to die - it was my fate - so I tried to leave the baby gorillas behind but one of them refused to let go of me and I had to take it with me. I stepped out of the bus and my collegue stepped out too, and was pointing a gun at me. I looked at him, and he fired and missed - so I walked to the other side of the bus trying to protect the baby gorilla, but I knew I wouldn't be able to save myself. He stepped to the other side of the bus too, and shot me. I knew I was dead.

It didn't hurt, it didn't even feel bad or sad. After I had been killed I was like a ghost and I was looking down my body which was most bizarre. I don't know if it was one of my best dreams, but it was certainly one of the most memorable ones.

Decisions, decisions

After a long deliberation and consultation with Henri, I arrived to a decision to buy Canon's Ixus 500 camera from Amazon. Well, to tell the truth, Henri narrowed the choice down for me to few cameras and we agreed that Ixus 500 with whopping 5 mega-pixels was really the best choice for the quality/prize range I was looking at. I chose Amazon after checking the tax free price at Gatwick - the camera was a ridiculous £60 more expensive there - my original idea had been to pick up the camera there as "tax free is cheaper".

Now I'm just waiting for the camera to arrive - with any luck it'll arrive on time and I should be able to take it for a test drive on Sunday for the TFL Party in the Park. And talking about arrivals, Iron Council arrived on post today. It's not quite as thick as the previous parts with under 600 pages, and the quality of the paper is on the cheap side and it's cut quite badly (as this is the US edition of the book, I guess - I've never seen this shoddy books in here or Finland). But on the other hand, I have all the confidence that the content will blow my mind away.

Looking for a camera

As days to the Toronto trip can almost be calculated using my fingers, I'm starting to think about what to take with me. It's also starting to be clear that my old digital camera might not make it - it's been having problems keeping the battery charged for over a year now, and it's becoming increasingly unreliable. When you turn it on you never know if the battery is going to charged, independent of if it has been on charge or not. This is my second battery and it has hardly been used, so it's unlikely to be the battery - so I've been casting an eye on new cameras. There are couple of criteria I'm looking for:

1. Price - I'm not a camera fetishist, so I'm not willing to spend ridiculous amounts on a camera that I will use occasionally. I'm thinking about a price tag around £200 - £250.
2. Size - yes, it matters. I want a small ultra slim-camera that I can put in a small hand bag which weights so little I can forget it.
3. Quality - well, who wouldn't want quality. I'm looking for at least a 3 mega-pixel camera, but I understand that points 1 and 2 put limitations on this one. According to my sources quality is pretty much always compromised with small cameras - however that's a price I'm willing to pay.
4. Ease of use - I don't mind a few settings, but usability is so important, with any device.
5. Standards compatibility - I'd like to avoid strange memory standards like Memory Sticks and xd cards. Flash or SD would be good.

Casio Exilim series has caught my eye, but if anyone has any other good recommendations, they would be very welcome.

Hot, hot, hot

The good weather is finally here, so I shouldn't really complain that it's too hot. But it is pretty hot - we went out for a walk on the seaside, headed in the east over the Southsea Pier and went to see the Southsea Rose Garden (which was a sad sight in this heat and dryness). As long as we were next to the sea where it was really windy it was really nice - but couple of steps to inland where it was calm and it was almost too hot.

Rest of the day was spent mostly wearing and doing next to nothing - it's just too hot to wear or do anything more. We watched some more Stargate, both varieties, and I finally cleaned up the kitchen as the pigs had moved in.

More days like these, please.