Healthy eating

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession to make. I have been terribly, terribly wrong about nutrition all along. I feel ashamed and would like to apologise for my heinious slander that I have heaped upon fast food industry.

I just learned that french fries are now offically classified as fresh vegetables by US department of agriculture. So from now on, to get your 5 portions of fresh, unprocessed fruit/veg a day, just scoff down five big portions of fries in the nearest McDonalds. And wash them down with nutritious coke while you are at it. Or what the hell, just start drinking mayonnaise straight out of bottle as your main source of fluid. I am sure it will soon be classified as the recommended way to reduce excess weight.

My head hurts.