Weight update

I haven't been talking about the eating thing for a while. Weight is stubbornly staying under 50 kg, it's been at 49 kg for some weeks now. Last week might have been a plateau because although I was eating more than ever, it was all veggie and I was on a fairly rigorous exercise routine... I'm honestly thinking vegetarian diet might not be right for me, no matter how good it feels. Here's some more honesty for you: I think my belly looks soft and round, and I prefer the way it looks few kilos down. I'm not unsatisfied about how I look as such, just an observation.

I have a month until the con, and doesn't look like I'll be able to reach 52 kg by then. It makes things more complicated, and especially under these circumstances I hate to be the one that has all the responsibility for others... I'll be the designated driver because half of our party doesn't have a license and the other half is unwilling... Luckily they are also the most understanding people on earth - still, leave it up to me to make problems for myself when they don't exist.

Eating is just... a chore. Boring, unpleasant, at times difficult... and yes, sometimes impossible.

To keep up with the routine I build up at the retreat I've set my alarm to ring half an hour earlier and have started a meditation practice. It's not much yet, but quiet me-time without hurry or pressure feels really nice.

Back

Last few days of the retreat I was actually able to detach myself from the internet, go me.

Coming back on Sunday was a bit of a culture shock... So many people in the city, and they all look so different. It was weird, I always thought West End was really relaxed and full of nice genuine people... walking down Denman to get lunch on Sunday was unpleasant as the street were full of people in hurry, and everyone looked so, well, artificial. Just proves that it's all relative.

Anyway, the photos of the retreat are all up now, go and check them out if you're interested.

One of the most concrete things I've been trying to keep is the pace. I noticed it the moment I stepped outside, my normal walking pace is much faster than it was back on the mountains. Am I really in so much hurry? I've tried slowing down and I can do it, only it's started raining again which makes it slightly less comfortable. On my first day back at work I had four meetings... four, and I never normally have any. One of them was my yearly review which went extremely well. I don't honestly feel like I'm worth all that praise.

So yeah, I'm definitely experiencing the post-retreat low here. Hopefully it'll just pass in couple of days.